


My Favourite Colour is You

by RoonilWazlibMalfoy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 90's Music, Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - No Time Travel, Asexual Character, Bullying, Canon Rewrite, Friendship, Good Lucius Malfoy, Good Severus Snape, Good Slytherins, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lucius Malfoy is a good dad, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Nicknames, POV Severus Snape, Polyamory, Pop Culture, Ron Weasley Bashing, Slytherin Harry Potter, elton john references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 41,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23780539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoonilWazlibMalfoy/pseuds/RoonilWazlibMalfoy
Summary: Young Severus Snape was intrigued by the other boy in the park. He was even more intrigued when he realized that the boy, Harry, was a wizard just like him. He taught Harry all that he knew of the wizarding world and made his first friend. They planned to go to Hogwarts together, to be in Slytherin together, to make friends and a home with people like them. They had no way of knowing the danger and adventures that awaited them at Hogwarts, but Severus knew they'd survive anything as long as they stuck together.This is a story of friendship and a story of survival. This is a story of Severus Snape without Lily Evans; of Severus Snape, best friend of Harry Potter.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Pansy Parkinson, Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Malfoy/Eileen Prince Snape
Comments: 163
Kudos: 472
Collections: Snape Bigbang 2019





	1. Cast a Pebble on the Water

**Author's Note:**

> This story did not go exactly the way that I planned. I didn't expect Harry to be such a big Elton John fan, I didn't expect Lucius Malfoy to step up and be a good human being, and I didn't expect the nicknames. So. Many. Nicknames. lol But I've had a lot of fun writing it and I hope that you enjoy it. 
> 
> This story was written for Snape BigBang 2019. It is my first attempt at a multi-chapter story, so please be gentle. It is pretty well complete and will be posted in its entirety within the next couple of days.

***This gorgeous [artwork](https://suffer-my-displeasure.tumblr.com/image/616391504567697408) was created for this fic by suffer-my-displeasure on Tumblr

Severus didn't like those boys. He'd been watching them for some time - watching was what he was best at - and he didn't like them. Perhaps he hated them. They were muggles after all. Nasty muggles.

Today they were chasing a much smaller boy. The boy was lucky he was so much smaller, if he was being honest. It made him faster than those lumbering oafs so that they had no chance of catching him. They'd surely hurt him if they did catch him. That's what muggles did.

Severus needed no one to tell him that. He knew it from the other children at his school who bullied him and from the teachers who looked down on him for being poor. He knew it from his father who never hesitated to remind him and his mother, with words and actions, that he was a worthless muggle. Not that he worded it like that, of course. "Eileen, Severus, just your daily reminder that I'm a worthless prick." At least that would be amusing. No, his father chose to remind them with fists fueled by cheap liquor. But the result was the same at any rate.

This other boy, though... Severus found himself intrigued by him. His thin frame and knobby knees, his too large spectacles perched on his dark nose, black hair flying around his head like a dark halo, running like the devil. Severus watched them from across the park, safely hidden behind a tree. Well, safely hidden behind a tree until he wasn't. At some point in the millisecond he'd closed his dark eyes to blink, the boy had appeared in the branches of the tree above him.

Severus felt the boy looking down at him, but watched the muggles for another moment. It was kind of hilarious. They stopped short, looked at each other with wide eyes, then ran. Severus chuckled before he turned to the boy.

"I know what you are," he said simply. He looked up at wild green eyes behind thick round lenses before looking away again. "You're a wizard," he shrugged. "It's ok. It's a good thing. I'm one too."

The boy hopped out of the tree, landing clumsily next to Severus. "I'm a what?" he chuckled. "A wizard? Like in a fairy story?"

Severus sighed. He wasn't really sure how to make a friend as he'd never had one before, but he had decided that he wanted this boy to be his. He had a flash vision of them riding the train to Hogwarts together, playing gobstones in the common room under the lake, just like his mum had done. "No, not like a fairy story," he finally answered. "I mean, sort of like that. But this is real."

"Oh, is it a game?" the boy asked in a delighted tone. "You want me to play with you? I've never played a game with someone before!"

Severus heard the longing in the boy's tone and understood. He was tempted to tell him it was a game just so he'd have a friend. He'd never played a game with someone before either, other than his mum occasionally, whenever his father wasn't around.

"It's not a game," he explained, hoping the boy would still give him a chance. "It's real. Watch!" Severus called on his magic harder than he'd ever done, hoping to Merlin it worked. After a moment, leaves swirled down from their tree, fluttering softly in a circle around the boys, before returning to the tree and reattaching themselves. "It's magic!" he told the boy.

The boy looked at him with wide green eyes, body tensed as if ready to run again. Or apparate again, as it were. He hastened to explain, asking the boy if strange things ever happened to him, "like appearing in random trees while running from bullies," Severus teased. The boy's curiosity piqued, he went on to explain about the magical world, about witches and wizards and wands. He told the boy how they had to hide their magic from muggles, non-magical people, and how they'd soon surely both be invited to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to learn to control their magic.

Finally the boy seemed to understand. "So, I'm really a wizard!" he exclaimed. "I always thought I was just Harry."

Severus chuckled. "I mean, you are just Harry, I suppose. And I'm Severus. But we're both wizards." He looked at Harry and smiled. Harry happily smiled back.


	2. When Rock Was Young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Harry get to know each other and the wizarding world much better.

From the day that they met, Severus and Harry were as inseparable as they could be. Severus shared all of his knowledge of the wizarding world, learned from his mother, with Harry. Harry shared his pilfered Walkman, discarded by his spoiled cousin, with Severus. They laughed together and dreamed together over a shared excitement about Hogwarts and magic and a shared love of the entirely different, but no less amazing magic of music. 

Neither boy had ever had a friend before, but they did their best to make up for lost time. Chasing each other around the park became a favorite game for them; they discovered that running could be fun when it was with a friend and not for your life. Twigs in hand, they challenged each other to wizarding duels, inventing wild sounding spells to make up for their lack of real knowledge. They knew they'd learn it all at Hogwarts soon enough. 

Some days they just lay beneath that tree in the park, the one where they'd met, side by side discussing their dreams and sharing the quiet joy of finally having a friend after so many lonely years. They imagined how nice it would be to finally fit in with their peers, to learn all about magic, to feel proud of who they were. Bruised cheeks, hungry bellies, and worn ill-fitting clothes were forgotten as words spoken between the two friends transported their bright young minds to a castle in Scotland, to a common room under the lake where they watched merpeople swim, to a place where they'd have enough to eat and no one would hurt them, where chocolate frogs leapt out of their packaging and jelly beans came in every flavour, even the gross ones. The boys couldn't wait to walk through a wall in a London train station to meet the Hogwarts Express, to meet their future. 

Some days they'd turn on the Walkman and lay beneath their tree, headphones resting on the ground between their heads, and immerse themselves in music for a while. They only had one tape because it was one that Harry's aunt had tried to throw out, but it was enough. Thoughts of Yellow Brick Roads and Bennie's mohair suit filled their brains and Severus was certain that nothing like this could come from muggles.

"Just look at him, Harry," he pointed to Elton John on the cover of the cassette. "Look at his shoes! He doesn't even know how to dress like a muggle and they don't even notice! He's absolutely a wizard. I'm positive of it."

Harry laughed. "Maybe..." he conceded. "But I don't know, Sev. Muggles probably aren't all bad. I think Elton John is just one of the good ones."

Severus allowed it, but he remained unconvinced. 

When the time came to get their school supplies, it was Severus' mum Eileen who took he and Harry to Diagon Alley. Having known that Hogwarts letters were due to arrive, she mustered up a courage that she rarely showed at home, save to protect her son, and insisted that the muggles Harry lived with let him go. They did, in fact, know about magic, but had kept it from Harry his entire life, determined to make him "normal." Severus scoffed. As if one could ever be normal when they were neglected and harmed as Harry was. Eileen, with her dark eyes and sharp features, could be terribly imposing when she wanted to be, and with her standing before them, wand out, in a rage, they backed down and allowed it without too much fight.

It was there on Diagon Alley, amidst the wild colors that shone from every corner and the feel of magic racing out to them and filling them up, that they met a boy with bright blond hair. He introduced himself as Draco and immediately began to chatter about Hogwarts and Slytherin House. Severus decided after listening to him, unable to get a word in edgewise, that he was both an over-dramatic prat and a potentially good friend. Draco's mum was old friends with Severus' mum and Severus thought how good it was to see her relax, to know that she had someone to turn to when he went away to school.

It was also there that Harry learned the truth of his parents' tragic fate and his own important role in their world. Several of the people they came across bowed to him or went out of their way to shake his hand. Eileen explained it to him briefly in hushed tones, but it was a lot for a child, new to the magic and new to having attention paid to him at all, to take in. Harry, however, bore it with grace and humor. 

So," he told Severus after recounting the story of his parents being killed by a dark wizard, of him being the Savior of the Wizarding World. "I'm famous! It's so strange. I'm basically the Elton John of the wizarding world."

"You can't be Elton John," Severus laughed. "You're not flashy enough!"

"I could definitely be Elton John," Harry shot back happily. "I'd just need bigger glasses."

It was Eileen again who took Severus and Harry to meet the train on 1 September. They passed through a wall in the muggle train station and were immediately overwhelmed with the sight and sound of parents and students, younger siblings and owls and cats. A large red train stood proudly on the tracks, waiting to be boarded by eager children. Severus and Harry grinned at each other as they both hugged his mum and promised to write, then made their way onto the train to find a seat.

They found an empty compartment where they were shortly joined by a boy with bright red hair and a fat lazy rat. "Hi, I'm Ron Weasley" he said tentatively. "Is it okay if I sit here? I couldn't find another empty one.

They agreed readily and started to chat with him, exchanging wary glances when he complained about the lunch his mother had packed. Neither of them had anything at all, Severus because they had nothing to pack and Harry because his relatives couldn't be bothered. It went well enough, though, until Ron asked which House they thought they'd be in.

"I think we'll both be in Slytherin," Severus said. "Cunning and resourceful, that's us!" Harry chimed in, and they both looked to the other boy, Ron. 

He looked incensed. "Why would you want to be in Slytherin?" he exclaimed. "They're all evil gits!"

"Well, Sev's mum was in Slytherin, and she's not evil at all," Harry said. "She's wonderful! I bet her friend was in Slytherin too and she seemed really nice." 

They were saved from hearing Ron's reply when the blond boy from Madam Malkin's burst through their door. "Ah, there you are lads! I've been looking for you! I don't think we've been properly introduced," here held his hand out, first to Harry then to Severus and they each shook his hand in turn. "I'm Draco Malfoy."

Upon hearing that, Ron started snickering. "Laughing at my name, are you?" Draco asked. "Well, there's no need to ask who you are. Red hair and hand-me-down robes... you must be a Weasley." His tone was so derogatory that, when Severus and Harry began to laugh, Ron stood up, red faced, and left to find a new compartment.

As he walked away, all three boys burst into wild laughter. "Did you just insult him with his own name?" Harry asked between giggles. 

"Well, with a name like Weasley, that's not difficult," Draco replied with a grin.


	3. The Finest School in Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hogwarts and sorting. Dumbledore is Queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these first few chapters are kind of short and I apologize for that. I tried to rehash as little of canon as possible, but it picks up after this. The setup was necessary. lol

The three boys spent the rest of the trip laughing and getting to know each other. The Malfoy house elves had packed a large lunch, and Draco passed out food to the others without a thought. He knew a few other kids on the train and they stopped in to say hello during the journey. At one point a bushy haired girl and a mousy looking blond boy came to their compartment in search of a toad. The boys had, gratefully, not seen one, so that pair left quickly to resume their toad hunt. 

Beyond that, they were left alone in their train compartment. Draco filled Severus and Harry in on some aspects of wizarding culture that they were unaware of, having been raised largely in the muggle world. Severus and Harry taught Draco about muggle music; he was quite skeptical, but after hearing Severus' opinion that their favorite was really a wizard hiding in plain sight, he seemed more open minded about it. He and Harry had often debated this point since the first time it had come up and they had never really come to a resolution on it but, at Severus' sharp look, Harry didn't argue it there in front of Draco. Draco's opinion about muggles in general remained fairly low, and what Harry and Severus shared with him of their experiences did nothing to raise that opinion. "But," he said, "if he seems like a wizard, your Elton John is likely alright."

When they arrived at Hogwarts, a huge hairy man ushered all the first years to little boats and they rode across the lake to the castle. Severus, Harry, and Draco ended up in a boat with a girl that Draco knew. Her name was Pansy, and she seemed alright, if a bit loud. Severus was beginning to feel optimistic about his future at school. He had Harry, it seemed that he had a new friend or two, and with any luck, he'd soon be in the Slytherin common room with all of them. 

They made it across the lake without incident and all of the first years stood back for a moment, in awe of the castle that would be their home for the next seven years. Then they were led into the entrance hall where they were met by a stern looking witch who took them into the Great Hall and told them to wait for the sorting to begin. Severus, Harry, Draco, and Pansy stood nervously huddled together as an old hat was brought into the room to, apparently, sing a song about the Hogwarts houses. Curious.

When the hat finished singing, the students were called up in alphabetical order to place it on their heads after which it would call out the name of the house it was placing them in. Harry shuffled a bit closer to Severus and discretely grabbed his hand; Severus squeezed back, grateful for the slight distraction. 

"I hope they don't separate us," Harry murmured. 

"It will be fine, you'll see. My father said the hat can't make mistakes," Draco whispered back with a confidence that, while likely false, was appreciated.

The number of students waiting dwindled as the newly sorted students took seats at the tables they'd been assigned. Draco and Pansy both appeared to be holding back laughter when two of their friends, Vincent and Greg, were both sorted into Hufflepuff, but overall they didn't seem surprised at the assignments of most of the people they knew. It did seem that the whole room applauded for each student as they were sorted, although that applause was a bit subdued for the new Slytherin students. Severus found that a bit concerning, but after thinking about how reserved and calm both his mother and her friend Narcissa Malfoy were, he thought perhaps that was just the Slytherin way. 

He watched as Draco and then Pansy were sorted into Slytherin and happily took their seats beneath the bright emerald banners. Then Harry's name was called and he squeezed Severus' hand, whispering "so far, so good" hopefully, as he went to have the hat placed on his head. The hat remained on Harry's head for longer than it had on most of the other students, but eventually it called out "Slytherin!" and Severus breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed both like no time and infinite time passed before Severus' name was called.

He walked to the front of the room, feeling shaky, as the stern witch, Professor McGonnagall, placed the battered hat on his head. He was surprised when the hat began speaking directly into his mind, but he quickly recovered his shock as he began to listen to what it was saying. "Very loyal, yes indeed. Loyalty is important..." it murmured. "And I see a great love of learning here. Hungry for knowledge, this one is..."

"Please put me in Slytherin," he thought as hard as he could. He couldn't bear the thought of his loyalty to Harry being the thing that separated them. And he knew they both loved to learn, but they wanted their knowledge to take them places, to help them achieve their dreams, to take them places outside the muggle world where they'd be accepted and successful. "Slytherin, slytherin..." he began to chant in his thoughts. 

"Slytherin, eh?" the hat asked in his mind. "I can see that too. You hold on to your secrets, you strive for greatness. Slytherin will facilitate that..." The hat fell silent as it seemed to be thinking for another moment before it finally said, "Very well, then." And then the hat's voice was projected both through Severus' mind and all around him: "SLYTHERIN!" it proclaimed.

Severus practically ran to Harry as soon as the hat was off of his head, both boys grinning wildly. He took a seat beside Harry with Draco and Pansy across from them. "I told you it would be alright," Draco smirked, but he seemed really pleased and a little relieved that they'd been able to stay together. 

After the last student, Blaise Zabini (Slytherin), had been sorted, their attention was directed to the head table where a very old man in garish purple robes and a matching pointed hat stood up to speak. He introduced himself as Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of the school, and went on to say some nonsense words. Severus couldn't even begin to make sense of that, so he turned to Harry instead.

"See, Harry," he whispered. "That's gotta be the real Elton John of the wizarding world. He's flashy."

"Nah," Harry retorted. "Too old. Plus, see the matching hat? That's clearly Her Majesty, the Queen."


	4. More to Find than Can Ever Be Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Year one: a troll and a mirror and a dog. And one dead teacher.

Once they got settled in at Hogwarts, time flowed swiftly for Severus and his friends. 

Severus finally felt at home for the first time ever. He had food to eat regularly and his clothes were the same as everyone else's. He had friends and no one shouted at him or tried to hurt him at all. Occasionally there were conflicts, especially with that red headed Gryffindor sod, Ron Weasley, but they were conflicts between equals and only left Severus irritated rather than bruised and afraid. 

"Hey, Harry," he asked one day as they walked to their Charms class, "why do you fight back against Weasley? You never did against your cousin."

Harry snorted. "It wouldn't do any good to fight back against Dudley. If I ever did, my uncle would just punish me for it. Easier just to run. But with Ron… I don't know. I'm just so tired of bullies!" he said fiercely. "And I can stand up to him, he's just a ginger git with a couple of gits for friends. I'm not about to back down from that."

Severus nodded at that. He understood it, truly. He could never fight back against the other kids at muggle school either. There were too many of them and he was just one poor ugly weirdo. He never fought back against his father, either, just as Harry would never stand up to his uncle. Here at Hogwarts everything was different. He wasn't alone anymore, he wasn't a freak anymore since everyone here would be strange in muggle society, and no one needed to know that he was poor. He had the same things that everyone else around him had. He completely understood Harry's position and he agreed. As long as they were together, there was no reason to let bullies hurt them anymore. 

As their first school year progressed, they got to know their Head of House, the potions master, Professor Black. He was a rather dry and sarcastic man, but his blue eyes were kind and he related to his Snakes like no one else in the school. 

"He's my cousin, you know," Draco informed them one evening at dinner as Professor Black came into the Great Hall and took his seat. "Well, my mother's cousin anyway. His brother supposedly had something to do with the Dark Lord coming after your parents," he told Harry in more hushed tones. "I'm quite sure that my parents don't really believe he did it though. Professor Black has apparently been trying for years to get him released from prison but there's never been enough evidence."

"But they locked him up without evidence?" Harry asked, bewildered. 

Draco shrugged elegantly. "I really don't know the whole story," he said. "Just what I've picked up on whenever they've mentioned him. But it is very intriguing," his eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "We should try to learn more about what happened!"

"I agree," Severus spoke up. "I'm not really sure what we could do about it, but as it has to do with Harry's parents, he certainly has the right to know everything."

Harry said nothing more at all, and later that evening, he shut himself behind his bed curtains and refused to talk to anyone. Severus could only imagine the emotions and thoughts running through Harry's messy head, so he told him quietly "I'll be here if you need to talk," and settled into his own bed with a book. He couldn't exactly relate, but he did have his own share of family problems, and he didn't want his friend to be alone. 

After they had really settled in and completed their first few weeks of classes, they finally got to do one of the things they'd most been looking forward to: they learned to fly on brooms. Severus had never felt so free! If only the nasty muggles in his neighborhood could see him now, rising into the air supported by nothing but enchanted wood and twigs. They'd know he wasn't a freak; he was something more than they could ever hope to be, something better. 

Severus learned quickly enough and he loved being in the air. Harry, on the other hand, was a complete natural. He even made the Slytherin quidditch team - youngest seeker in a century - and Severus was elated to watch his friend win games and glory for Slytherin. 

He had no real interest in playing quidditch himself. He still wasn't comfortable with people looking at him overly much. But he was happy to have another wizarding skill under his belt and happier yet to have a new way to hang out with his friends. Pickup quidditch and broomstick races quickly became their go-to whenever the weather was decent.

On Halloween, they made their first friend outside of their own house. In the potions corridor that day, they caught Ron Weasley teasing the bushy haired girl from the train until she ran away crying. That evening at the holiday feast, their strange Defense professor had run in shouting about a troll having gotten into the dungeons. 

"Our dorms are in the dungeons!" Draco shouted when the Queen told all the students to return to their rooms. 

"Nevermind that!" Harry shouted back. "What about that girl? The one with the big hair. I never saw her again after we caught Weasley bullying her."

Severus considered for a moment before saying "Well, I'd just as soon not go to the dungeons if that's where the troll was spotted. Looking for her should be the safer option," he shrugged looking at Draco to see if he'd be willing to join them.

The blond looked utterly petrified. Understandable, Severus thought. As much as he liked Draco, he could see that the boy had led a much more sheltered life than either himself or Harry had done. "I… ok, I'll come with you," Draco finally stammered. "Just don't do anything stupid, yeah?" 

"Well, it's not like we're trying to fight a troll, Draco," Harry laughed as they headed to the corridor where they'd last seen the girl. "We're looking for an 11 year old girl, not a monster."

A few moments later, Harry was eating those words because they did find the girl, hiding with puffy eyes and a red tear-streaked face in a bathroom, but they also found the troll. 

After enduring Weasley's teasing, she had run to the nearest bathroom to avoid him and the others who'd been laughing at her with him. Severus, with his big nose and his too-thin body, could relate honestly; he'd born his fair share of teasing, some of it from Weasley himself, and he knew that when you had no friends to back you up, isolation was your best weapon. 

With a bit of skill, a lot of luck, and absolutely no help from Draco, they managed to knock the troll out with its own club. They had time to learn the girl's name - Hermione - before some teachers burst through the door. At first they were shocked to find that a couple of first years had managed to defeat the massive beast, but that shock quickly turned to anger when they realised these students had done the opposite of what they'd been instructed to do. 

Thankfully, Hermione stepped up to defend them. "Please, it's not their fault," she said bravely. "I thought I could take care of the troll myself and they came to stop me. I'm really sorry!" Her tear-stained face lent credence to her story. 

Professor McGonnagall, the Gryffindor Head of House, softened at that, clearly pleased that her own student had exhibited such courage and equally pleased that some Slytherin students had come to her rescue. "Be that as it may, Miss Granger, you all still put yourselves in great danger by not doing as you were told," she said firmly. 

And so, they all lost quite a few points for their Houses that day, but they gained a clever new friend in exchange. Draco refused to speak to Harry for two days after that, but all things considered, Severus thought it had been worth it.

They spent Christmas at the school and reveled in the chance to have a real Christmas with trees and food and presents. Harry received an invisibility cloak from an unknown source, who they later found out was Her Majesty, Queen Dumbledore himself. The cloak had apparently belonged to Harry's father and he was proud and pleased to have something so special from his dad. One night, while wearing the cloak, Harry stumbled upon a mirror that he said showed him all of his lost family. He took Severus to it and tried to show him, but Severus only saw himself standing there with Harry. 

"Maybe it doesn't show your family if they're still alive," Severus suggested. Harry was too enamored with the sight of his parents to give it much thought, though. 

While sneaking out one night to visit the mirror again, Harry needed a hiding place and crept into a locked door on the third floor. When he got in, though, he found a large three-headed dog guarding a trap door rather than a safe place to hide. He made it his mission for the rest of the year, and by default, Severus' mission, to figure out what was being hidden there. When the holidays ended and they were still no closer to figuring anything out, Harry enlisted assistance from Draco and Hermione on the mystery of the cerberus as well.

Their breakthrough finally came from a most unlikely source. The large, hairy man from the boats before the Sorting Feast invited Harry and his friends to tea one Saturday in late winter. He was a kind man, if somewhat bumbling. Harry and Hermione clearly felt comfortable with him, so Severus and Draco went along with it. 

"So, Hagrid," Harry said in an overly casual tone. "Know anything about the three-headed dog in the school?" Severus kicked him sharply beneath the table, but the damage had been done.

"What d'yeh know about Fluffy?" Hagrid demanded.

"Oh, nothing, really," Draco tried to cover for him. "Harry just stumbled across him accidentally one evening and thought you must know something about it. You seem quite knowledgeable about all the creatures here on the grounds." Trust Draco to try flattery. Thankfully it seemed to work.

"Aw, it's nothin' really," Hagrid said sheepishly. "Fluffy's mine, but he's guardin' somethin' for Dumbledore an' I don't want yeh kids messin' with it, alright?"

"Of course, we would never!" Draco exclaimed, his grey eyes glinting mischievously. 

"It's just," Hermione started, "what is he guarding? I mean, if it's that dangerous, surely a school isn't an appropriate place for it." Severus was grateful to finally hear someone speaking reasonably, even if she was only doing it to get more information from the man.

"Tha's between Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel an' I don' wanna hear anythin' more of it!" Hagrid said firmly. 

Nicholas Flamel... Severus had heard that name before. He glared at his companions to ensure that they didn't press the man any harder. They had all the information that they were going to get. He only hoped it was enough.

Between classes and Harry's quidditch schedule and the boys' desire to spend time flying, which Hermione scoffed at, it took them all spring to figure out exactly what the dog was guarding. Severus hoped someone was at least going to feed and bathe the poor thing, seeing as it had spent the better part of a year guarding a door in a castle. In the end, it was largely with the help of Draco's innate knowledge of wizarding history and Hermione's annoying proclivity for research, they determined that the dog was guarding the Sorcerer's Stone. They were glad to have finally solved the puzzle and really thought no more of it. That is, until they were forced to.

The end of the year brought an entirely wild course of events in which Severus and Harry picked up on the fact that their weird defense professor was trying to steal the stone from Dumbledore. It didn't take much encouragement from Hermione's entirely Gryffindor sense of recklessness for Harry to decide that they needed to rescue the stone themselves. Draco refused to join them and safely locked himself in the Slytherin Common Room while Severus watched him enviously. But where Harry was, there Severus would be, so he tentatively followed Hermione and Harry down the trap door that was being guarded by a sleepy cerberus. There were several more traps and puzzles to figure out once they had gotten past the dog. But the three of them were clever and brave and it seemed to be going pretty well as far as life and death missions go. 

Well, it went well until Severus was concussed by a giant stone queen (not Dumbledore). He wasn't entirely sure how it went after that.

When Severus came to, in the hospital wing no less, he learned that Harry had rescued the stone, killed their defense professor with his bare hands, and prevented the spirit of the Dark Lord Voldemort from being resurrected. Severus thought that was rather enough for one day and he felt a sense of pride in his friend for saving the world once again, and pride that he'd been there to support him. They probably deserved an award.

Professor Black was furious with them, though, until Dumbledore gave them enough points for their little stunt to ensure that Slytherin would win the House Cup. He even gave Draco some points for standing up to his friends, although Severus was not entirely sure how the Queen knew about that. So they did get an award of sorts.

It was all a bit overwhelming, if he was being honest, and it was not at all what he and Harry had dreamed of when they imagined their days at Hogwarts. But they had won their House the Cup and the whole school was cheering for them, aside from a select few Gryffindors, and they had friends to write to over the summer. So in many ways, it was even better than what they had expected. 

Even the prospect of going to their respective homes for the summer didn't seem so terrible when they knew that their real home, a place of magic and adventure, was waiting for them to come back in the fall. 

Harry and Severus sat close together on the train, with Hermione and Draco and Pansy sharing their compartment and other friends and acquaintances popping in to chat. When they arrived to the train station, Severus was glad to see his mum waiting for them with the Malfoys, looking softer and happier than he'd ever seen her look. She hugged both him and Harry and informed Severus that they'd be leaving in a couple of weeks to spend the rest of the summer at Malfoy Manor. It didn't take much prodding to get the adults to agree to bring Harry along too, provided that his family was willing to let them go.

So Severus and Harry began their summer with light hearts and big dreams. They weren't sure what the next year would hold - not after this year had gone so mad - but they knew they'd be together no matter what.


	5. Two Separate Worlds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good-bye father. Good-bye Dursleys. Good-bye Surrey.
> 
> Hello Mr. Perfect.

After they arrived home and summer truly began, Severus found himself largely alone. He knew that the muggles Harry lived with were certainly to blame, but that didn't make the loneliness any easier to deal with. After nearly a year at Hogwarts, nearly a year in close contact with Harry and their other friends, being alone with only his parents, his thoughts, and a tree in the park was torturous. 

The day that they were meant to leave to visit the Malfoys had nearly arrived and they still had no word from Harry; Severus hadn't seen him once, hadn't seen even a single feather from his snowy owl. He was desperate to leave and desperate to know that Harry was alright and desperate to escape the misery of his home life. It was all rather overwhelming and perhaps that's why his guard was down when his father attacked him. 

That evening Severus' father went into a particular rage for no obvious reason. He was all sloppy flying fists and "What the hell is wrong with you, boy?" This was nothing new. Severus was unsure what was wrong with him, but he was inclined to think the problem was with his father more than with himself. It really didn't even matter because he couldn't do anything about it. But, feeling the tender edges of a blossoming bruise on his left cheek, he found himself more embarrassed than usual about it. He was embarrassed at the thought of the Malfoys seeing him like this; of them seeing his weakness in allowing a filthy muggle to harm him like this. 

He thought his mother could certainly relate to this sentiment, but her sense of self-preservation trumped her sense of pride. She spoke softly to him as she rubbed a bruise paste into his pale skin.

"Love, I think it's time we went to the Malfoys without Harry," she suggested. "We can't take him with us if the muggles won't release him. That was always a stipulation of the plan." Severus wept silently at the thought of leaving without Harry, but he bitterly agreed in the end. They planned to leave in the morning.

As it turned out, their plans to set out on their own were unneeded. Early the next morning, they woke to a sharp knock on their door. Severus' face flushed when he opened it in scruffy muggle clothes, the purple bruise on his cheek not yet faded, to find the proud, regal figure of Lucius Malfoy standing at their door. 

Lucius looked at him, calculating grey eyes narrowed, before stepping inside. Their house looked even shabbier with the imposing aristocratic figure of the Lord Malfoy standing inside it. The pale curtain of his hair hung neatly over his shoulders, his robes were made of dark rich fabric, a black cane held elegantly in one hand; he exuded wealth and magic from his very being. Severus just stood there looking at him, humiliated of his own meager surroundings.

"Child," Lord Malfoy spoke softly but his tone was dangerous, "who did this to you?" He gently grazed Severus' cheek with a pale hand.

Severus was unsure how to respond. He simply looked across the room to his father, passed out on their couch, an empty liquor bottle dangling from his fingers. Lucius followed Severus' eyes and his face tightened as he took in the sight of Tobias Snape, a muggle of the nastiest sort. 

He nodded as if answering a question that had never been asked. "Collect your mother and your things, Severus," he said. "You may need to contact a muggle healer if the beasts have such things. I'm told that alcohol can cause certain... heart problems."

When Severus returned minutes later with his trunk in hand and his mother behind him, clutching a faded satchel, Lord Malfoy was waiting there for them with bored look on his face, appearing not to have moved. The room was unchanged, Tobias Snape was laying in the same position as before, but his chest no longer rose and fell, his heart no longer beat. 

Severus was certain that he should feel something other than relief at his father's demise, but he couldn't bring himself to. The only thoughts in his mind at that moment were that his father had deserved no better and that Lucius Malfoy must be the greatest wizard to ever live. 

As they left the house, Severus paused and addressed Lord Malfoy. "Please, sir," he began, "would it be possible for us to go check on Harry? I believe the muggles he lives with have locked him up."

Lucius Malfoy's face darkened once more. "Muggles," he hissed the word angrily, "have locked up Harry bloody Potter?"

Severus nodded, wide-eyed at the sound of Lord Malfoy speaking in so crass a manner. Lucius sent Eileen back to Malfoy Manor to let his wife know what was going on and then Severus was directing the aristocratic man to 4 Privet Drive where Harry lived. The man gazed around disdainfully, looking positively murderous when he saw a second story window with prison bars over it. He rapped sharply on the door with the snake head handle of his cane, as if even touching their door with his knuckles was beneath him, sneering when a horse-faced woman opened it, gave a little shriek at the sight of them, and attempted to slam the door in their faces.

A wordless spell from Lord Malfoy prevented the door from closing and the woman began muttering about "freaks" as she watched he and Severus step through her door. 

"Madam, you will bring Harry Potter to me immediately," Lord Malfoy told her firmly. "He will be coming with me. I assure you, he does not belong in a place like this." He gestured around the neat room with thinly veiled disgust. 

"I most certainly will not!" she protested in a whining tone. "He never needs be around freaks like you again." she stopped short when she noticed the mutinous look on Lord Malfoy's face. "Well..." she followed up, "if he goes with you, he's never coming back. I don't want that kind of thing around my Dudders."

Severus was honestly rather impressed with the woman's bravery. Or perhaps it was just muggle stupidity. One look at the Malfoy patriarch's face told him that Harry's aunt was about two seconds from meeting the same fate as his father had met. 

"Madam," Lord Malfoy began again in a low dangerous tone. "I will not ask you again. You will bring Harry Potter to me. If one hair on his head has been harmed, I promise that you will sorely regret it. And even if it kills me, I will never allow him to return to such a disgusting place ever again."

She huffed in protest, obviously more offended at the idea of her pristine home being filthy than she was at the thought of her nephew never returning to her. Muggles were the absolute strangest things, Severus thought. She did go to get Harry though. Her apparent gratefulness at being rid of him seemed to outweigh her indignation at Lord Malfoy's insults. Severus simply couldn't imagine his friend growing up in such a hostile place. At least he had always had his mother to love him; Harry had no one and Severus vowed, as Lord Malfoy apparently also had, that his friend would never had no one again. 

Finally, the horse lady escorted Harry down stairs, him carrying his trunk and his owl's cage, her shoving him so that he stumbled down the last few steps. His face was pale and thin, but he brightened when he saw who was waiting for him. He smiled widely at Severus, then gave an awkward half bow to the Malfoy patriarch. 

"You must be Draco's father. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir," he said, ignoring his aunt sharply jabbing him in the ribs in an attempt to get him to leave. 

Lucius gave him a small smirk and a brief nod. "Quite," he said primly. "Well, boys, let's be off. It won't do to lower ourselves to a place like this any longer," he scoffed.

And then they were gone, leaving Harry's aunt gaping like a fish. "Good riddance to all of that," thought Severus. He and Harry were beginning a fresh new life, both feet firmly planted in the wizarding world at last, and he couldn't wait to see what the future held. 

When they arrived at Malfoy Manor, Draco was delighted to see them. He showed them the room where they'd be staying, both Harry and Severus feeling glad that it was a double room with two beds; staying in such a large lavish home alone at night seemed rather intimidating after the meager accommodations they had endured prior to this. 

They spent the rest of their day settling in, meeting the house elves, and hanging out with Draco who could hardly contain his excitement at having his actual friends with him for the summer. When they retired to their room that night, both Harry and Severus were content for perhaps the first time in their difficult lives. 

"Hey, Harry, do you think Lord Malfoy is really the Elton John? He's certainly got style," Severus whispered. 

Harry sighed happily. "No, not Elton John," he breathed. "But he's absolutely perfect, isn't he?"

Severus thought about the imposing figure that Lucius cut, his long pale hair and aristocratic features, and he absolutely could not disagree. Lucius Malfoy was sheer perfection. "He really is," Severus said softly. "Our own Mr. Perfect." Harry giggled but he didn't disagree. It seemed that Severus had his first crush.


	6. Mongrels Who Ain't Got a Penny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diagon Alley and the trouble with books and gingers.

One night at Malfoy Manor, Severus left his and Harry’s room to head for the toilet when he heard voices speaking behind a closed door. It wasn't that he wanted to eavesdrop, but he couldn't bear to be left out. He wanted to know everything that was going on around him. It was the reason he had watched Harry before they'd ever met and it was the reason that he stopped and lurked in the dark, listening to Lord and Lady Malfoy now.

"You know that Dumbledore will never allow the boy to stay here, Lucius," Lady Malfoy said.

"Then we will find some other place for him to live, Narcissa. He is not returning to those filthy muggles. They locked him up like a crup that had pissed on their furniture!"

After a pause, Narcissa began thoughtfully, "You know, my cousin is his godfather."

"Sirius?" Lucius asked. "He's in Azkaban. That's no help to us."

"He's in Azkaban for serving the Dark Lord," she said smugly. "Did you ever know him to be a Death Eater? He never even received a trial, you know.”

It was Lucius' turn to pause thoughtfully. "I did not," he said finally. "It shouldn't take much to free the poor man then. And with the law on his side, he can rightfully take custody of the boy." Then after a beat, "it will put us under scrutiny though."

"Then get rid of that damned book! There's nothing else they could find in this home to hold against us."

"I've tried, Narcissa! It won't be banished, it won't burn. What else am I to do?"

"The goblins," Severus heard his mum pipe in patiently. "Gringotts has their own curse breakers. Leave it to them to deal with and there'll be no question of your service to the Light. You'll be praised for turning in a dark artifact and the goblins won't question how you came into possession of it like the Ministry would." 

"Yes, that should work. You're always right, my dears," Lucius murmured. "We'll set things in motion in the morning."

That seemed to be the end of that conversation and, as Severus had no wish to listen to the lovely Lord Malfoy make love to his wife and, from the sound of things, Severus’ mother as well, he quickly returned to his bed, mind racing to figure out what it all meant. Surely they were discussing Harry. The Queen certainly wouldn't care where Severus lived, but he may have something to say about the accommodations of The Boy Who Lived. Why the Queen would want Harry with those abusive muggles, though, Severus was unsure. Regardless, it seemed that Harry may soon have a new home. Severus did not begrudge him that. Not really. He'd miss living here with him, but they'd surely still see plenty of each other and Harry, of all people, deserved a home with his godfather, if the man proved decent. He was Narcissa's cousin, so he was likely the right sort.

As far as the book they mentioned, Severus had no idea what that could be about. Likely it was nothing that concerned him, but he'd keep an eye out nonetheless.

The next day, all of them headed out to Diagon Alley. Severus didn't notice any book, but was sure that Lucius had it concealed on his person. They made the rounds purchasing school supplies without incident until they went to Flourish and Blotts for their books. 

The place was completely packed, mostly with primping, fawning witches. The reason for this was soon made evident when a flamboyant man with a wide fake smile approached them, grabbing "the famous Harry Potter" and forcing him into posing for what was sure to be a terribly awkward photograph. When the rest of them surged forward to rescue Harry from one Gilderoy Lockhart, they were met by an large family of gingers.

Ronald scoffed at Harry "showing off as always," which Severus knew to be inherently untrue. The boys were used to Ron's inane ranting, though, and were ready to ignore him. The Malfoy patriarch, however, couldn't let go of an incident of the poor Weasleys disparaging his obviously superior people. 

"I've always thought you had more children than class, Arthur," he cut in smoothly. This resulted in the ginger-haired man's face turning as red as his son's before he turned on the elder Malfoy and punched him in the face. Severus blanched as memories of his father's violence washed over him. Books spilled across the floor as the two men tussled. Severus found it hard to catch his breath as he watched Draco turn and accost Ron in a harsh tone. The smallest Weasley, a girl, began gathering the books as the women rushed forward to restrain their husbands and Harry rushed to Severus' side.

He put his hands on Severus’ shoulders and leaned in, touching their foreheads together. “Just breathe, Sev. Match your breath to mine.” He breathed slowly and deeply and Severus struggled to copy him. He reached out and gripped Harry’s robes tightly in his long fingers and that helped to anchor him. His heart rate slowed, his breathing became more steady.

“Thank you,” he said softly to Harry. “I’m sorry, it’s just…”

“It’s fine,” Harry said, stepping away from Severus but grabbing his hand and squeezing gently. “I understand it. Probably better than anyone else.”

In the meantime, it seemed that their group had more or less resolved whatever issues they had and were prepared to move on to someplace devoid of Weasleys.

The last thing Severus noticed before their group turned and left the chaotic scene was the girl Weasley picking up the book that had fallen from Lucius' cloak and putting it with the rest of her things. He told the man, not wanting any trouble for the Malfoys regarding that mysterious book after what he'd heard last night. "Lord Malfoy, the Weasley girl took your book when she gathered all the rest."

Lucius stopped and turned, watching the family of gingers making their way down Diagon Alley and, touching the bruise that was blossoming on his cheek, he smirked. "Let her have it. The Weasleys surely can't afford anything like that."

Severus nodded as he caught the malicious gleam in Lucius' eye. He wasn't bothered though; that family of uncouth red-heads certainly deserved anything that came their way.


	7. Who'd Ever Guess You'd Come Across a Snake in the Grass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lockhart is kind of useless and Ginny is annoying. Also, snakes!

After they got home, Severus, Draco, and Harry gathered to discuss the events of their Diagon Alley trip. 

"Apparently that Lockhart man is going to be our next DADA teacher," Draco told them, rather bored by the whole thing. 

"Lockhart?" Severus asked. "The fancy one? I think he might be the real Elton John."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Of course not, Sev," he teased. "Did you see how he wanted all those witches' 'extra time'? He's The Artist Formerly Known as Prince."

The boys dissolved into laughter as they tried to explain Prince to Draco and they all pictured a widely smiling Lockhart gyrating on stage with a guitar. Severus felt a ripple of satisfaction run through him at the thought that Harry wasn't so interested in having the attention of witches. That thought likely warranted further examination later, but for the time being, he was just glad to be here, safe and happy, laughing with his friends.

A month later, Lucius, Narcissa, and Eileen were hugging the boys goodbye again on Platform 9¾. They boarded the train with a bit more confidence than the previous year and found a compartment with Pansy, Hermione, and a few other friends. At one point, the youngest Weasley, Ginevra, came to their door, smiling at Harry and ignoring the rest of them until Severus fixed her with a dark glare that he'd been practicing since seeing Lucius look at his father, and she left quickly with tears in her eyes.

"Was that really necessary, Sev?" Harry mused.

"Of course it was," Severus replied calmly. "Now I know it works."

They all arrived at Hogwarts without fanfare and found their seats at the Slytherin table. They chatted softly during the sorting, only pausing to politely clap when they heard the hat call "Slytherin!" Severus was relieved to note that Ginevra Weasley went to Gryffindor. He imagined she'd cause drama whenever she was around and he couldn't help thinking that the less they saw of her, the better.

It was announced that Gilderoy Lockhart was, in fact, their new DADA professor, which none of the faculty, save the Queen himself, seemed particularly pleased by. 

“At least he can’t be as bad as the last one,” Harry offered. Severus snorted, but couldn’t disagree. That man had been an actual nightmare. 

Thus, their school year officially began.

They were especially glad to see their Head of House again, and he was glad to see them. Word had gotten out that Mr. Perfect was trying to free his brother, and he began to treat them all with a bit of favoritism, since they would basically all be family once Harry was in the care of Sirius Black. It was nice to have an adult at school that they could truly trust, especially after what had happened last year.

It became especially nice when strange things started happening around the school. First a cat, then a ghost, then even some students were found petrified in the halls. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince started up a dueling club under the pretense that it would be good for students to learn to defend themselves, but after one meeting, Severus was certain that he had only done it as a way to show off his own rather underwhelming skills.

The worst part was that everyone else also wanted to use dueling as a way to show off what magic they knew. The Artist paired Draco with Ron Weasley and told them, without much instruction, to duel each other in front of the group. Weasley got a wicked look in his eyes before saying “You’re a snake, you should be able to handle this… Serpensortia!” At that, a snake came flying through the air and onto the ground between the boys. Severus felt rather sorry for it, being flung around the way it had been, and didn’t blame it at all when it angrily headed toward the first person it saw.

That was when all hell broke loose, though. As the snake angrily advanced, and The Artist ineffectively tried to banish it, Harry shot forward and began hissing at it. After a moment of hissing, the snake retreated and coiled up so that Harry could pick it up and put it carefully in the pocket of his robes.

“Um, well, thank you for that display boys! I think we’ve seen enough for one evening. I’m sure that young Mr. Potter here learned his Parseltongue skills from reading my book Gadding With Ghouls. You can all go back to your dorms now,” The Artist stated before quickly leaving the room.

“Why didn’t you tell us you were a Parselmouth?” Draco demanded.

“I don’t even know what that means, Draco,” Harry said rolling his eyes. “Is talking to snakes not normal? I just told it to calm down.”

Draco closed his eyes, exasperated. “Potter, Salazar Slytherin himself was a Parselmouth. It’s incredibly rare and bloody cool!” he exclaimed. “I’m friends with a Parselmouth. Father has to let me get a pet ashwinder now,” he murmured more to himself than anyone else.

“Draco,” Severus started, “I’m not sure that’s why he wouldn’t allow you an ashwinder.” But Draco was lost in a world of dreams by that point and Severus just let it go, making his way back down to the dorms with his friends. 

Not everyone was as impressed by Harry’s skills as his friends were however. When the fact that he was a Parseltongue became known to the school at large, rumors really began to fly, especially regarding the recent petrifications.

Ron Weasley seemed especially convinced that Harry and his friends were behind the attacks, and he didn't hesitate to accuse them every chance he got, his own friends standing like bodyguards around him, and his simpering sister usually hovering behind them. 

Overall, the boys just ignored him, although there were a few incidences of hexes and punches thrown that landed them all in trouble. It wasn't until Harry started hearing voices in the walls that they decided they needed the help of Professor Black. 

“Well, Harry,” Professor Black told them thoughtfully, “it seems safe to assume, since we know now that you are a Parselmouth, that you’re hearing some kind of snake.” The boys felt kind of silly for not having come to that conclusion themselves, but really, that was why they were grateful to have a professor they trusted here at school. Professor Black assured them that he'd work out what was going on and told them to focus on their studies and stick together in the halls for their own safety. That was no real problem as they were already together all the time anyway.

When Valentine's Day rolled around, Prince Lockhart arranged for some ridiculously dressed dwarves to deliver love notes for anyone who wanted to send them. Severus was highly amused at watching all the other students try to avoid them, until Harry was targeted by one. It wrapped its grubby arms about his waist and held onto him until he consented to listen to the message. Severus scoffed as it went into some nonsense about his eyes looking like a pickled toad and he was not at all surprised to see Ginevra lurking behind the dwarf, eyes bright with hope.

As the dwarf finished reciting a poem terrible enough to rival a Vogon, Severus leveled the girl with another of his patented cold stares. When she met his eyes, she turned quickly to flee and ended up falling over, spilling her books across the floor. Harry, being much kinder than Severus could ever hope to be, bent to help her, but when he reached to pick up one book in particular, she shrieked at him, grabbed it, and ran away, leaving the rest of her things strewn across the stone floor. 

Harry, baffled, looked at Severus and Draco who both shrugged before they continued on their way, laughing at the girl's sad attempt at poetry. It wasn't until later that night that Severus realised the significance of the book Ginevra Weasley had been so protective of, and he vowed to pay another visit to Professor Black first thing in the morning.

When Severus told Professor Black what he knew about the book, the man's reaction was a bit more extreme than expected. The color left his already pale face and his jaw dropped as he murmured "just dropped in my lap..."

Severus narrowed his eyes as he studied his head of house. "What do you mean, Sir? What kind of book is this? Will this cause trouble for Lord Malfoy?" The last thing Severus wanted to do was get Mr. Perfect in trouble.

"No, no, Mr. Snape," Professor Black assured him. "Please don't worry yourself about it." He paused, thoughtfully. "Mr. Snape, how much do you know about the Dark Lord?"

Severus was taken aback. Certainly he had heard of the Dark Lord - of course he had; the man had murdered Harry's parents. He had heard some of the ideals the man had held, being a part of Slytherin house. And he had overheard the Malfoys discussing him a bit, planning how to protect themselves if he ever returned and they backed Harry instead of serving him. But Severus really didn't understand it at all. The man was dead and Severus thought he sounded a bit stupid, honestly. He had accidentally killed himself instead of killing a baby Harry! Hadn't he? 

Apparently not, according to Professor Black. It seemed that the Dark Lord had created some artifacts to prevent himself from truly dying, and Regulus Black had been searching for them, trying to destroy them, for the past 13 years. Severus felt a chill run up his spine as he concluded that the Professor must suspect this book of being one of them.

"Why are you telling me this, Sir?" he asked. 

"Mr. Snape," he said earnestly, "Severus. You are a Slytherin. If the Dark Lord returns - when the Dark Lord returns - everyone you know will be choosing a side. It won't do for you to be unaware of exactly what you're up against. That happened too many times during the first war, and I can't bear the thought of it happening again."

Mind racing, Severus nodded. He turned to leave and then stopped. "Sir, can I tell my friends about this?" He felt that Harry and Draco, of all people, needed to know just as much as he did, but he refused to break the confidence of a man who seemed to be so much on Severus' side.

"Be very selective, Severus. I want my snakes prepared, but I have no delusions that many of them aren't already on his side. Tell Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy, of course. But be very careful about who else you share your confidences with."


	8. Lead Me Through The Chamber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professor Black to the rescue! Sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning: There is a minor death in this chapter. It's not graphic in any way, but it is a character that, canonically, a lot of people like.

In the weeks leading up to the end of the school year, menacing messages referencing the Chamber of Secrets and the Heir of Slytherin began appearing on the walls, and the other students treated the Slytherins with more hostility than ever. Whatever the Chamber of Secrets was, it certainly had to do with the petrifications that had happened within the school and it seemed that no one was any closer to resolving the problem than they ever had been. Things were not all well at Hogwarts and Severus felt that it would really be a relief to get away from the fear and accusations.

Just days before the end of school, a final message appeared warning that a student had actually been taken into the Chamber and her body would lie there forever. As soon as they heard, Severus and his friends rushed to see Professor Black, hoping for some reassurance if nothing else. 

“Sorry, boys, I don’t have time to answer your questions right now,” he told them, while frantically gathering a random assortment of supplies. “The Headmaster has asked that I accompany him into the Chamber to rescue the girl. Wait here, and we’ll talk when this is all resolved.”

“You mean the Chamber of Secrets is real?” Draco demanded. “My father told me it was just a rumor.”

Professor Black paused for a moment at that. “I assure you that it is real, Mr. Malfoy, although I’m sorry to say so.” He sighed heavily. “Things are happening and I fear that it will all get worse before it can ever get better.” With a fleeting glance at each of the boys, he departed to meet the Queen and, with luck, rescue the Princess. Or something like that.

Severus, Harry, and Draco waited for what seemed like ages for Professor Black to return. Draco doodled on some spare parchment, Harry hummed quietly to himself, and Severus found himself watching Harry. None of them were in a particular mood to chat, feeling like the safety of their school was hanging in the balance. Severus pondered Professor Black’s departing words. If they were rescuing someone from the Chamber, he couldn’t have meant that was getting worse. He had to have been referring to their world in general. Severus wondered if he’d ever have a normal year at Hogwarts, one without a battle being fought there.

At long last, Professor Black came back to his office, looking victorious and defeated at the same time. It seemed that the book Ginevra had stolen allowed her to open the Chamber of Secrets, which housed a basilisk. Dumbledore, with the help of his pet phoenix, had defeated the serpent, while Professor Black had destroyed the book using the snake's own venom.

The knowledge that he had now destroyed one of the Dark Lord's horcruxes and that the basilisk venom would provide a way to destroy the others once they were located was dampened by the knowledge that the girl had not made it out alive. The boys looked at each other, aghast that a child had died in school. It didn't matter that she had honestly been utterly annoying or that, in a way, she'd brought it on herself. The reality of the true evil of the Dark Lord crashed down on them all at that moment. 

They finished their school year very much subdued. Knowing that the Dark Lord had touched their school in such a way made them more grateful than ever to be heading home soon. It really didn't matter so much that the information they had given to Professor Black had earned them a lot of house points so that Slytherin, again, won the House Cup. Their joy had been dimmed by the red rimmed eyes of a group of gingers at the Gryffindor table. 

Ronald confronted them on their way to the train after school had officially ended. "You are all going to pay for what you did to my sister! It was a snake that killed her and you're all a bunch of snakes. Don't think I don't know that you had something to do with this!"

Harry stepped forward immediately, always a peacemaker. “Look, Weasley, I know we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, but we honestly had nothing at all to do with this. I swear it.” Ronald continued to glower at him. “I’m so sorry for your loss though. I’ve lost people too. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.” Harry was so sincere that Severus didn’t see how anyone could have rejected his words. He and Draco just stood behind him, saying nothing because there was really nothing more to say.

Weasley narrowed his eyes, clearly still suspicious of them despite having no reason for it. After an awkward moment in which they just studied each other, Ron’s freckled face hardened. He couldn't be reasoned with and Severus really didn’t even blame him. He’d just lost a loved one and grief could never be reasoned away. He and his friends slunk away as soon as they were able to, unsure of what the enraged Weasley might be capable of. 

After they boarded the train, Harry finally succeeded in lightening the mood. "Hey, no surprise that the Queen has a helpful little pet tho. Think it's named Corgi?" he wondered.

"He probably has a whole flock of them," Severus snickered. 

Meeting Eileen and Narcissa to go home was the highlight of the year, as far as Severus was concerned. All of the parents were waiting for their children quietly, afraid and subdued with the knowledge of what had happened to the youngest Weasley child. Narcissa and Eileen hugged all of them tightly and apparated them home without lingering. 

Their arrival at Malfoy Manor was no different than before, but it did feel odd without Lucius being there. Apparently he had a lot of meetings to attend in his capacity as a Hogwarts governor since a student had died there this week. Severus found himself feeling rather sorry for Lord Malfoy; it certainly hadn't been his fault that Arthur Weasley had fought with him in the street like a common muggle or that Ginevra Weasley had taken a book that was meant for the curse breakers at Gringotts, but the man was still stuck dealing with the repercussions of it all. 

On top of all that, he was working with a team of barristers to get Sirius Black released from Azkaban, both because it was the right thing to do and because they had been correct about Dumbledore not wanting Harry to stay with them. He had been pushing to have Harry returned to his muggle guardians and Lucius was having to use all of his cunning and considerable pull within the Ministry to prevent that from happening. If he could just get Sirius released, there would be no question about who Harry's legal guardian should be, and it certainly wasn't a family of filthy muggles.


	9. Just a Different Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Sirius. Also Harry learns more about love and family in the wizarding world.

Late in July, the boys were working on summer homework and not chatting much. Draco was upset that his father hadn't been around and, if he was being honest, Severus wasn't particularly pleased to be seeing less of Mr. Perfect. Harry, for his part, was worried that he was going to be sent back to live with the Dursleys and he couldn't let go of the fact that the Queen wanted him there.

"It'll be ok, Harry," Severus told him. "Mr. Perfect will take care of things and, if he can't, I'll go back with you! I'll go under the invisibility cloak if I have to!" he promised. He had no interest in letting Harry go back to being alone and neglected.

"That's my father you're talking about, Severus. I wish you'd stop calling him that," Draco said with such disgust that Severus couldn't help cracking up. 

“He’ll be my father soon enough, too, you know,” Severus responded. Someone’s dad or not, the man was still absolute perfection.

Harry brightened at Draco’s words too. "Oh, and he is just sooo perfect, Draco!" he mock-swooned while Severus laughed. "That manly physique and silky hair..." he trailed off.

Draco huffed and rolled his eyes before continuing with his reading. The boys kept working until the bedroom door opened and Mr. Perfect himself stepped inside. 

"Boys, get dressed please," he ordered. His face held its usual stoic expression, but his eyes were bright and happy. "We're going to the Ministry. I'd like to introduce you all to Sirius Black."

"You've freed him?" Harry burst out, elated. 

"Not quite yet, but they've moved him from Azkaban to a holding cell at the Ministry. If all goes well, Mr. Potter, you will have a new home to go to for Christmas." 

Lucius was clearly quite pleased by this and so was Severus, to a point. But he couldn't help the flash of abandonment that ran through him as he pictured not having Harry there with him all of the time. He didn't particularly want to go without Harry's jokes and their music and their teasing of Draco. He was happy for his friend, but he missed him and he wasn't even gone yet. 

Nevertheless, they all got dressed up and flooed straight to the Ministry behind Lord Malfoy. There they were met by a pair of aurors who took them to the depths of the Ministry where they were told to wait until the prisoner was brought out.

Sirius Black was a thin, scruffy looking man - well, of course he would be after 12 years spent in Azkaban - but Severus thought he was nice looking anyway. He had bright blue eyes like his brother's and a roguish smile and his laugh was as loud and cheerful as a dog's bark. He seemed ecstatic to see Harry and almost as glad to see that Harry’s friends had come along with him. As if they were ever going to let him meet the infamous Sirius Black without them, especially after Lucius had been the one working so hard to free the man.

“Harry,” he breathed. “It’s so good to see you. I never thought I’d see you again. You look just like your father.” 

“I don’t really know anything about my father, sir,” Harry told him. “But I’d love to know more about him, about both of my parents.” Harry had always longed for his own family, Severus knew. He would never wish a parent like his own father on his friend, but he couldn’t imagine what he’d do without his mother. He was grateful that Harry was able to make this connection now, even if it did end up taking him away from Severus a bit.

“Ah, Harry! The adventures we had!” Sirius exclaimed. “I can tell you so much. As soon as I’m out of here, you can come live with me. I’ll tell you everything! We’ll have new adventures too! You, me, your friends… Merlin, I’m just so ready to be there for you.” Sirius looked like he truly was sorry to have missed so much of Harry’s life, even though it really wasn’t his fault at all, from what Severus knew. It was obvious that this man couldn’t have done what he was accused of; he had loved Harry’s father too deeply. Severus could recognize the abiding love of a friend because he felt the same thing for Harry. He decided it might not be terrible if Harry moved away to live with Sirius. Sirius seemed to understand the importance of friendship and the need to stay in touch.

That night, Harry and Severus talked about what the future would hold; what might change and what never could. Harry, like Severus, was certain that Sirius would never keep them apart, even when Harry was living with him, and they were both rather excited about the prospect of Harry having a real home, a real family. 

"So, Sev," Harry asked, "you think you and your mum will ever move out of here? Carve out your own place in the wizarding world?"

Severus was kind of surprised to find that Harry hadn't already picked up on what was going on, but then, Harry was fairly oblivious at the best of times. All of his focus lately had been on Sirius and Severus really couldn't blame him for that. 

"My mother is bonding with the Malfoys, so we'll be staying indefinitely," he told Harry.

"What, like all three of them?" Harry asked, seeming surprised by the very idea. 

Severus chuckled. "You're thinking like a muggle, Harry. The wizarding world is much less restrictive in bonding than the muggle world because we marry for love and magic, not for religion or government."

Harry seemed very intrigued by that and Severus tried not to feel pleased that Harry was interested in different types of marriage bonds than muggles had. Of course he'd be interested when he learned of new differences between their world and the world they'd grown up in. It didn't really mean anything. 

“From what I know,” Severus told him, “my mother had planned to bond with them when she graduated from Hogwarts, but once she was pregnant with me, her father forced her to marry my father. I think it was quite a scandal, honestly.” It was a sad story and one he didn't love thinking about, but Harry certainly deserved to know. He'd tell Harry anything. 

"Why did she sleep with your father if she was planning to be married?" Harry wondered aloud. 

Severus grimaced. "I'm not sure that he gave her much choice, Harry," he said softly, refusing to meet Harry's eyes.

"Oh, Sev," Harry sighed, wrapping an arm around his friend's shoulder. "I'm so sorry! But she is happy now. And she's got you. I've seen her face when she looks at you, you know? You're her whole world. She wouldn’t trade you for anything." Severus looked into Harry’s green eyes and felt like, just maybe, Harry felt similarly.

He leaned into Harry slightly. He knew what he was saying was the truth, but it still pained him to think of all that his mother had gone through for him. He'd never be able to repay the Malfoys for all that they'd given to him and to his mother. Especially him. If it hadn’t been for him, Eileen would have been with them this whole time. But the irony of it all was, they'd never want repayment of any kind and they’d never once given any hint of holding it against him; they were his family, his real true family.


	10. Time on My Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wedding. Also a murder?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is death in this chapter, right at the end, including somewhat graphic depictions of blood. 
> 
> I think I might owe my friend Wormtail an apology for this.

Eileen bonded with Lucius and Narcissa at the end of the summer. It was a lovely, if highly private, ceremony held on the manor grounds in the rose gardens. Severus, Draco, and Harry, along with Professor Black and the wizard who officiated the bonding, were the only ones who attended as none of them had much family still living. Still, it was a day of beauty and love; Severus only hoped that one day he’d be able to commit his life and magic to someone as beautifully as his mother finally had.

There was music and feasting and, after the sun went down, bright wizarding fireworks filled the air, flashing and shining for hours after they were set off. It was there, in the light of the fireworks that Eileen found Severus laid out on a blanket with his friends.

“Come talk with me, love,” she beckoned him. He gladly followed. Between her partners and his friends, it wasn’t often that he spent one on one time with his mother. He didn’t pine for the days when it was just the two of them, hungry and afraid, but he did sometimes miss just being with her and having all of her attention.

She led him to a small table that was all but hidden by the blossoming flowers that surrounded it. They settled down and he looked into her dark eyes, so like his own, shining with happiness and pride. “Son, you have a decision to make now that I’ve bonded with Lucius and Narcissa.”

Severus had known about this decision and he was still unsure of what choice to make. “I can remain as I am or Lucius can adopt me,” he confirmed. 

She chuckled. “How do you always know everything that’s going on?” He just smirked back at her, making her laugh even more. It was good to hear her laugh. She had always done too little of it. “There is a third option, Severus, if you desire it. The Prince line has died out. I was the last. Lucius and Narcissa and I had planned, once upon a time, to name one of our children the Malfoy heir and another the Prince heir. With our union, you would be eligible to be that heir, but only if you want it.”

“You want this for me?” Severus asked. It did seem to be the best option. He didn’t want to encroach on Draco’s territory by being named a second Malfoy heir, although Draco honestly didn’t seem overly concerned with any of that. 

She smiled at him. “I would like my family name to continue on, yes. But I want your happiness above all, my love.”

Severus hesitated. There was one other thing he desired to ask for, but felt a bit awkward. “Could I change my middle name as well?” he finally spit out quickly. “It’s just… I’d cut all ties with him. If I can.”

Her smile grew even wider. “Of course! I had considered that but didn’t want to change anything you didn’t want to change. It’s your name, darling. But if you like, my father’s name was Felix. A strong potioneers name, I think.”

Severus pulled a face. Severus Felix? Honestly, what was she thinking? Not to mention, that was the man who’d forced her to stay with that muggle. No, that would not do. “What about Abraxas?” he suggested. By taking Mr. Perfect’s father’s name, it would give him his own connection to the Malfoys while keeping his mother’s name alive and severing all ties with the man Lucius had rescued them from.

“I think that sounds lovely,” she beamed. “It shows that you are a Malfoy as well as a Prince. Very well, Severus Abraxas Prince. I shall file the paperwork with the Ministry on Monday.”

He hugged his mother tightly before making his way back to his friends’ side. Well, one friend and one brother. That was different, but not at all unwelcome. 

It wasn’t until much later, while he lay in his bed after all the excitement had dwindled down that he thought about it all. His mother bonded and happy, him the true heir of a wizard family; he rolled these thoughts around in his mind and found them largely pleasing. All but the entirely unwelcome and entirely too late thought: “sweet Merlin, my initials are SAP now.” How on earth would he prevent Harry from creating a nickname out of that?

A couple of weeks later, they were back at Hogwarts, Severus with a new name and Harry hopeful of having a new home very soon. Weasley and his friends hassled them, still blaming them for his sister's death even though they had no part in it. Weasley also now had the extra ammunition of Draco and Severus’ parents bonding to harass them about. While bondings such as theirs were widely accepted in the wizarding world, there were still some magical folk who aligned closely with muggles who had negative feelings about it. Severus wasn’t even entirely sure if the Weasleys were among those or if Ronald Weasley simply went after the easiest target. He was inclined to think it was the latter.

Quidditch try-outs were hosted at the beginning of the term and Draco was ecstatic to have been made a chaser. Severus still had no desire to play the sport, but he was almost as excited as his new brother was. Between the two of them, they even convinced Mr. Perfect to buy new brooms for the whole team after Draco became a part of it. Slytherin was certain to win the cup this year!

But in spite of all of this, their third year at Hogwarts started off relatively boring in comparison to the previous two years. Their professors and the castle remained largely the same. The new DADA teacher, Professor Lupin, was the only addition and he seemed positively wonderful and normal, especially considering what they’d had to deal with in the past. Harry had heard from Sirius at their last meeting that the new Professor was one of his dearest friends, so Severus was looking forward to having someone competent and respectable in that class for a change. The rest of their classes were entirely unchanged, with the exception of the addition of electives to their curriculum. 

Harry and Draco had decided to take Care of Magical Creatures and Divination, assuming they'd be easy O's requiring less homework and leaving more time for quidditch. Severus, being a bit more studious and interested in learning new things as well as not having quidditch practice to account for, opted to take Ancient Runes and Arithmancy. He was glad when he arrived at these classes for the first time and found that Hermione had opted to take those as well. He did love to study and learn, but he despised being alone.

Having her around was especially great because she kept Ron from truly tormenting him. The ginger was unwilling to do so when Severus' "jock buddies" were around "to protect him." What an idiot. He was unwilling to cause much harm when the only one with him was a bushy haired girl, too, so his friends' jock status apparently didn't matter much. He just wanted to be able to attack Severus, who he perceived as the weakest link, when it was three on one. 

It was also nice to be able to talk about books and the new things he was learning with someone. Draco and Harry were always willing to listen, but they weren't nearly as excited about it as he was. Hermione, while a bit bossy, matched his enthusiasm perfectly. 

This is why, when Severus decided to try his hand at spell creation, he went to Hermione first. She seemed a bit concerned that he might cause harm or that it was against school rules, but he had, in fact, requested permission from Professor Black for this. The Professor didn’t seem convinced that Severus would be able to accomplish much, but he had given permission either way. Once Severus convinced her that Professor Black had given him permission to work on this extra project and that he'd only ever test his spells on rats, she calmed down and they got to work. 

Having something of an inside track on the Dark Lord, through Mr. Perfect and Professor Black who had once, for some reason, followed the man, Severus knew that a battle would be coming sooner or later. He wanted to invent spells that could be used in battle, spells that none of the Dark Lord’s followers would know or be able to counter. The benefit of practicing on rats was that, if they should die, they could still be used as potions ingredients. Waste not, want not, Severus thought. 

Their third year had started off boring and it should have remained boring. It should have, but it certainly didn't. 

It took months for Severus to devise a spell that he thought would truly work. It was a sort of modified cutting curse that resisted all normal manner of healing and could only be healed with a certain chanted incantation. If his and Hermione’s research was correct, it could be applied to a small area, like cutting off an appendage, or in broader use to slice an enemy open causing them to quickly bleed out. Intent, he suspected, was the key. 

He had found a rat sneaking through the courtyard. He knew that no one save Weasley had a pet rat and even he wouldn't be dumb enough to let his pet roam around when others' cats were doing the same, he determined that this rat would be good to experiment on. It was fat and seemed old so it had been easy enough to catch. 

With the rat ready Severus gathered his friends around him in the dorm and prepared to show them what he'd been working on so hard during their quidditch practices. He did regret that Hermione couldn't be in their dorms to see it, but this was honestly the best and most private place he knew of to practice. If it worked, he'd be happy to show off to her later.

He had stunned the rat and placed it on the stone floor. “I’m not really positive that anything will happen,” he admitted, but hopefully it will work. “This could be of great help if Professor Black is right about things getting worse before they get better, I think.”

Harry and Draco nodded encouragingly at him when he nervously glanced at them and, with their support acknowledged, he slashed his wand at the rat and called out "Sectumsempra!" Stripes of blood blossomed across the rat's fur, its thin neck had been almost completely severed and its chubby body had two more gashes, wide compared to the rat's body, slicing it open from shoulder to hip. The curse had worked perfectly! 

Severus' friends whooped and cheered, elated at his success. Harry rushed to Severus, pounding him on the back and exclaiming "You did it, Sev! It worked!" Severus rolled his eyes slightly at that - he could see that it worked considering that he, too, had eyes - but he appreciated Harry's enthusiasm anyway. He turned in time to see the congratulatory grin slip off of Draco's face and turn in to something more horrified. He followed Draco's line of sight and, seeing the reason for horror, sagged against Harry with a gasp.

There, where a rat had lain sliced open moments before, was a man, cut open just the same. Blood oozed from the wounds on his bare chest and his rat-like face stared unseeingly at the ceiling. 

"Holy Moses," Harry breathed, clutching Severus' arm tightly. 

"I have been deceived," Severus completed the line, feeling a wave of hysteria rise up in him.


	11. You Know I Read it in a Magazine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus is depressed. Enter Pansy.

Severus was unsure exactly how much time passed. He knew that Draco had dragged both him and Harry from the room and had run for help. He knew that Professor Black had come in and Severus thought that he sounded almost excited to have found the dead man but decided that he surely must have been misinterpreting that in his state of shock. He knew that Professor Lupin had come in behind him, but at the time he couldn't say why. When the Queen himself finally arrived, he sent all three boys to the Hospital Ward for calming draughts and sleep and then Severus knew no more for a while and he was thankful for it.

When he awoke the next morning, he was in a foul mood. Breakfast was waiting for him and he picked at it simply to keep the school mediwitch, Madam Pomfrey, from lecturing him. His friends were waiting for him and he snapped and snarked at them until they decided he needed some time and left him alone. 

His thoughts were dark and tumultuous. He had killed a man, an actual human being. All of his careful planning, his desire to be useful, all of it was tainted by this darkness. How could he talk with his friends like things were normal, his good kind friends, when he was a murderer? Logically he knew that it had been nothing but a horrible accident, but that didn't stop his conscience from throwing accusations at him. Murderer! Freak! Wrong! 

He continued to sit in the hospital wing, stewing in black thoughts, until Professor Black came to collect him. He was taken to the Queen's office where he was certain he'd be expelled or maybe sent to Azkaban. What did they do with teenage killers? He wasn't sure, but he knew it couldn't be good. 

When they arrived, however, there were no Aurors, no ministry officials, no school governors present. Professor Lupin was there waiting and Professor Black settled right next to him. The Queen simply offered "Lemon drop, Severus, my boy?" with a soft twinkle in his bright blue eyes. 

He was asked to tell them his story and he did so, honestly and without hesitation. He trusted his Head of House without question and he figured that a friend of Harry's godfather must be alright if Professor Black thought so. And the Queen's presence was oddly calming. The old man was strange, no doubt, but he seemed understanding and gentle; Severus felt that he was on his side. So he told them how he'd sought permission to experiment with spells and his reasons for trying what he did. He told them why he chose a rat and how he'd managed to catch that specific rat. He left out no detail because he feared that these three men would be his only chance to stay at Hogwarts, in the wizarding world, and out of Azkaban. 

As strange as Severus’ story was, what he learned after his tale was complete was stranger by far. 

"You see, Mr. Prince," Professor Lupin began. "Back before Harry's parents were killed, they had gone into hiding under a Fidelius Charm. You're familiar with that one?" he asked softly. Severus nodded. It was a complicated bit of magic that allowed a secret, usually a place, to be hidden from anyone so long as the person holding the secret didn't reveal it.

Professor Lupin continued, "Right. Well, Harry's parents were in hiding under that. It had been assumed that Sirius Black was their secret keeper and that he'd betrayed them. Sirius has said that Peter was really the betrayer, but... well, it was difficult to believe that when we all thought Peter to be dead. Peter Pettigrew was an animagus," he said gravely. "A rat animagus."

It seemed that now that the body of Peter Pettigrew had been located and Sirius’ story confirmed, Sirius was as good as free. “And so,” the Queen told him, “though your actions were perhaps a bit questionable, the outcome is an altogether positive one. You’ve done nothing wrong, my boy. In essence, you’ve saved an innocent man and given your friend a home. I do wish it had happened differently, for your sake, but I do not want you to dwell on this.”

Outwardly, Severus agreed, of course. One does not argue with the Queen. Inwardly, however, he was in even more turmoil than before. He was still a murderer, even if the man had deserved it. He was only 14 years old and already a killer. How could any good come of his life if this was how it began? And how would he survive all of this without Harry? Without the music that Harry brought into his life. For Harry would surely be moving away, not returning to Malfoy Manor with the rest of them this year. He’d be getting to know his godfather and settling into a new home. He would certainly not have the time nor the desire to see Severus the Murderer anymore.

Severus stewed his way through the rest of the school year. He focused on his studies and he did no more experimentation. He ate little, he stopped washing his hair and taking care of himself, and he stayed away from his friends as much as possible. He had no desire to attach himself to Harry only for Harry to leave him later. He would be fine alone. He hated being alone, true, but he'd rather be alone by his own choice than alone because his friends had abandoned him.

He also did his best to avoid the taunts of Weasley and his gang, which had only gotten worse since news of Severus’ misdeeds had gotten out.

“Hey, Snivellus!” he heard someone shouting across the courtyard that May. Harry wasn't the only one who came up with nicknames, it seemed. He was just the only one who was good at it. “Giant nose in a book again, huh? Studying new ways to kill people?” Weasley’s freckled face jeered at him.

“Fuck off, Weasley,” he said darkly. This was nothing new, but it still rankled him. He knew the drill though. They’d hex him, they’d laugh at his greasy hair and his appearance, like they had any right to, until they got bored and moved on to another target. He honestly couldn’t be bothered to care much. He tensed up in expectation that some spell or another would be flying at his face shortly, but no spell ever came. What came instead was far more surprising.

“You heard him! Fuck off, Weasley!” a brash sassy voice called out. And then Pansy was next to him, lips painted red and short dark hair shining in the sunlight. “Come on, Sev,” she said, reaching a hand out to pull him up. Unsure what else to do, he took her hand and followed her. She linked her arm through his and led him away. He couldn't actually remember the last time he'd spoken to her, but he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to get away from Weasley unharmed. 

“Pansy,” he asked softly, “why are you helping me?” He was honestly shocked that anyone cared, knowing what he was. Even Harry and Draco had respected his request for distance, although they didn’t seem especially pleased by it. Not that he'd given them much choice in the matter. And Hermione had been easy enough to shake off since they weren’t even in the same House. 

To his question she simply responded with a smirk, “Snakes take care of each other.”

Severus spent the remainder of the school year with Pansy. She never asked why he stopped spending time with Harry and Draco and he was glad for it because he couldn’t have really given a satisfactory answer. Knowing her as he was beginning to, she probably already knew and just didn't care. He tolerated it because she gave no other option, really, and she didn’t require much conversation at all. She talked enough for both of them. She knew all the school gossip and, through her, so did he, despite really not caring. She showed him fashion magazines and music magazines and was delighted to find that he had some knowledge of muggle music. 

“Ah, Sev, this is perfect!” she exclaimed while she painted his fingernails black one evening. “So many wizards are so stuck up, but muggles really have the best music. We can love the art without loving the artist, you know?” 

Severus hummed in agreement and watched her sweeping black polish across his nails, the glossy black standing out starkly on his pale fingers. 

Tell me, Sev,” she asked when she finished, “what do you know about the punk scene?” The gleam in her blue eyes told him it would be something he’d either love or hate, but she was going to pull him right along with her anyway. He couldn’t say he minded; honestly, he couldn’t be bothered to mind.


	12. He Stands Like a Statue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus is a punk rocker. And Harry smacks some sense into him.

Severus was beyond grateful to be boarding the train home that year and he was a bit concerned that this was becoming a trend. Hogwarts was supposed to be a wonderful place of friends and magic and learning. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn’t supposed to be glad to leave, anxious to crawl into his bed in the Manor and sleep the summer away. 

Draco ushered him into a compartment with him and Harry on the train and he went along because there wasn’t anything better to do. He had managed to put some distance between himself and them, but he supposed they were hoping to rekindle things by appealing to nostalgia. It was nice to be sitting there with them, just like old times. They hadn’t changed and it was soothing. They hadn’t changed, but Severus had.

He picked at his black polished nails while he listened to Harry and Draco talk quidditch. He wondered where Pansy was, but he was certain that wherever she was, it was exactly where she wanted to be. He knew that if she had need of him, she’d make sure he was wherever she was. His dark hair had grown long enough to act as a curtain between him and the world, so it was easy enough to ignore his friends' worried looks when they talked about summer plans and he only grunted noncommittally. 

“So, I’m going to be moving in with Sirius,” Harry began cautiously. 

“I’m happy for you,” Severus said softly. It was the most he had said the entire train ride, but he couldn’t bear to hurt Harry, no matter what was going on in his own mind. Harry deserved this chance. He was just glad that he’d put some distance between the two of them on his own terms; it kept it from hurting so badly to know that Harry was officially leaving him now. “You deserve to have a good home, Harry. I’m sure you’ll love living with him. Much better than those muggles, at the very least.” He met Harry’s eyes for the first time in months with that statement and Harry’s relief at seeing his dark eyes looking at him was almost palpable. 

Harry smiled. “Anything would be better than that!” he said happily. “But I think this will be best. Elton John and George Michael in a house together. They could make a show about us!” Severus snickered and rolled his eyes. Only Harry, he thought.

Beyond that conversation, Severus answered them as briefly as possible and stared out the window thinking about Black Flag. Pansy had been right that the punk scene suited him. They were as angry at themselves, as angry at the world, as he was. 

When they arrived at the train station, Harry hugged him and squeezed his hand. He didn’t squeeze back. Harry left him with a promise to write and to firecall, a promise that things didn’t have to change. Severus just nodded and watched him leave with Sirius, both laughing as they headed off of Platform 9 ¾ and out into muggle London. 

He and Draco made their way to where their parents were. Narcissa was looking as regal as always and Mr. Perfect was, of course, perfect; his mother only had eyes for him, eyes dark with concern. She wrapped him in her arms when he got to her and he allowed it. He hadn’t even realized how much he needed it until he was there with her, until he heard her whispered promise that everything was going to be okay.

True to his word, Harry did do his best to stay in touch with Severus, but Severus still couldn’t bring himself to talk to him much. Despite his mother’s assurances that everything would be okay, he still couldn’t shake the black thoughts that seemed to hang over him. Pansy was the only one he really stayed in contact with and that was more because he knew she’d make him than because he really wanted to talk to anyone.

He ventured into the muggle world with her occasionally. They frequented record shops and glared coldly at anyone who looked at them for too long. Not many people did; they made a rather imposing pair, clad all in black and wearing matching patented Death Glares. The one time they visited a shop with a pinball machine, though, Severus imagined Harry standing there, thrilled to be trying out the machine and proclaiming himself the Bally table king. He stood there frozen on the verge of a panic attack until Pansy gently led him out again. She wasn’t as adept as Harry was at pulling him back from the edge of panic, but she understood that he was wrestling with his own demons and she never questioned him, no matter how strange his reactions seemed to be. 

Eileen, noting how quickly he was growing, took him shopping and he made sure to pick out clothes that Pansy would approve of. Despite her disapproving looks, his mother couldn’t bring herself to deny him anything right now, so she just calmly bought whatever she wanted him to have as well as the things he picked out. She did try to cut his hair as well, but he refused, and she couldn’t say much considering her own husband had hair far longer than his. “If Mr. Perfect can have long hair, surely it’s acceptable for the rest of us mere mortals,” he told her. She snickered lightly and gave in on that too, glad to see a little of Severus’ usual personality shining through. 

Despite the occasional outing, Severus largely spent the first part of summer laying in his room, reading, listening to music, and ignoring everyone. Draco, too, tried to get Severus to come out of his shell, but quickly got annoyed and left again. At least, Severus thought that he’d given up and left until his door flew open later that day with a bang. It turned out, he’d only gone to get reinforcements.

“Severus Abraxas Prince, I will annoy you until you talk to me!” Harry’s angry voice shouted as he marched into the room, slamming the door behind him. 

Severus tossed his book aside and sat upright, sneering at Harry. “Go away, Harry! You don’t understand anything!” he shouted back.

Harry’s eyes widened. “I don’t understand?? Me? Get over yourself, Sev! What is it you think I wouldn’t understand? That you tried something new and it worked a little too well? I know, I was there! Or that you accidentally killed someone? You know, like I did in fucking first year!” 

All the fight left Severus at that moment. Harry was right; he had done that in their first year. How could he have forgotten? He had gotten lost so far inside his own dark thoughts that he hadn't realised. The one person who would have the very best idea of what he was going through was his very best friend. “I forgot,” he said softly, his dark eyes mournful. “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

Harry rubbed the back of his neck absently and made his way over to Severus’ bed. “Yeah, well, it must be nice to be able to forget it, because I can’t,” he said as he flopped down next to Severus. “But I guess you’re realising that now.”

Severus nodded and grabbed Harry’s wrist, picking his hand up and tracing the lines with his fingers. “I do,” he said softly. “I just can’t get it out of my head, I can’t stop these dark thoughts. No matter what I do, I’m wrong and evil and I shouldn’t be around other people, good people. I can’t turn off my brain.”

“Believe me, I get it,” Harry said, watching Severus hand play over his. “You can shut everyone else out if that’s what you need to do. But don’t shut me out, you berk.” He spoke lightly and Severus cracked half a smile. If Harry was with him, Harry understood, maybe things would be okay, just like his mother had said.

Then Harry flopped back on the bed and Severus flopped next to him. Maybe things didn’t have to be so different, after all. “Keep the new look, though,” Harry said after a moment, giving a gentle tug to Severus’ long hair. “It suits you,” he smirked.

Severus and Harry were largely back to normal after that confrontation. They joined Draco to fly over the Manor grounds and they listened to music together. Harry was intrigued by Severus’ new love of punk music and the two ventured into muggle London to pick up some new albums. Severus led Harry to the shop with the pinball machine and was gratified to see Harry rush right to it, shouting “I’m a pinball wizard!” after a few rounds. Harry invited Severus over to his new home with Sirius and they found a tree in the garden there that they could lay under to talk; it really felt like old times, only better.

At the end of the summer, they had plans to all go together to see the Quidditch World Cup. Mr. Perfect had gotten box seats for all of them, Sirius and Professor Lupin (who Severus suspected was more than just a friend to Sirius) included.

The day of the Quidditch World Cup dawned bright and golden. They all donned muggle clothes to head to the campgrounds and set up for what they hoped would be an amazing event. There were witches and wizards from all over the world there and even Draco, having spent his entire life fully immersed in the wizarding world, was a bit awestruck. After setting up a truly luxurious wizarding tent with a flick of his wand, Mr. Perfect sent them out to explore. They wandered around sampling foods from different vendors and buying souvenirs from the shops until time for the game to start.

The game was amazing. Severus had never seen anyone fly like that and, even with his own lack of quidditch skills, he could say he was thoroughly impressed. All of them were enamored with the young Viktor Krum, Bulgarian seeker, who was barely older than them and already an international quidditch star. The only negative about the game was that the entire Weasley family had somehow managed to get box seats and were seated right in front of them. It was almost worth it to see Ronald nearly throw himself off the balcony as the veela mascots the Bulgarian team had brought along danced on the field though.

In fact, most of the men, and some of the women, in the whole stadium were behaving similarly. The three boys had a great laugh at their expense until Harry asked Draco why none of them had been affected.

“Erm, well,” Draco stammered, “female veela only affect those who are attracted to women, I would gather.” Severus nodded as that made sense and he’d already come to that particular realisation about himself. He was rather gratified to note that Harry might be of a similar persuasion though; he had wondered. And hoped.

Harry flushed at Draco’s answer and Severus smirked. “So, you don’t like women then?” Harry asked Draco.

“I don’t find myself attracted to anyone in that way, being honest,” he replied simply. “I’ll do my best to do my duty to preserve the Malfoy line when the time comes, but I do hope that my future wife doesn’t expect much as far as that goes,” he shrugged. “I’d love to have a relationship eventually, a companion, but I can’t say that I find myself particularly interested in sex at this point. Unless something changes.”

“Well, what about Mr. Perfect?” Harry demanded. “He has two wives! You can’t say he’s not attracted to women!”

It was Draco’s turn to smirk at that. “Malfoy men have better control of themselves than to show their baser instincts in public,” he said. “Plus, imagine having two wives angry with you for throwing yourself at some veela.” They all looked at the happy triad at that statement. Lucius quirked a brow at them and they all cracked up.


	13. She Just Laughs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Hogwarts, but quidditch is cancelled?? Also Severus pines.

Shortly before they were to go back to school that fall, Mr. Perfect asked Severus and Draco to come into his office as he had something to tell them about. 

“Quidditch will be cancelled at Hogwarts this year,” he began, then held a slim hand up at their inevitable protests. “Quidditch will be cancelled so that the TriWizard Tournament can take place. There will be students from several other schools present this year and I expect you both, and your friends, to behave appropriately,” he warned. 

Severus gulped. No more experiments. Got it.

“It should be quite entertaining though. There will be champions chosen from each school and they’ll have to compete in various trials. All older students, so don’t worry yourselves about being chosen. Just enjoy it. It’s a very special opportunity.”

The boys both nodded, and spent the rest of the evening speculating about what kind of feats the champions might have to perform and who might get chosen from Hogwarts. Despite quidditch being cancelled, this seemed like it could be a pretty fun compromise.

It was easier to go back to school now that Severus was back with Harry again. They found their usual compartment and Pansy came in shortly, sitting with them for the better part of the ride. She repainted Severus’ nails as Harry watched, apparently amused. 

“I’m glad to see you feeling better,” she told him. “I love you either way, but I like you happy better. Plus you finally got some decent clothes,” she smirked.

She cuddled up to Draco for a little while and he didn’t seem to mind her constant talking anymore than Severus did; he wrapped an arm around her shoulders casually and Severus was gratified to see his friends getting along so well, despite the fact that Draco had technically known Pansy for far longer than he had.

Yes, Severus was excited and calm about going to school, expecting to finally have a drama free year. 

A few months later, however, Severus found himself wishing he’d never had that thought as the Queen called out Harry’s name to be a champion in the Tournament. 

On the one hand, it meant that Severus was no longer the most hated person in their school. Hexes and insults that would have once been flying at him were now flying at Harry. But somehow, that made it worse. Severus was used to it and knew how to handle it at this point. Harry had always been liked well enough by everyone (except Weasley, but who cared about him?) He put on a brave face, but Severus knew he was really bothered by it.

Luckily, their friend group had expanded a bit. Severus and Pansy and Draco stayed with Harry almost constantly. Hermione Granger firmly disagreed with the rest of her house that Harry was a lying sneaking Slytherin and so she joined them as well. Severus found himself respecting that girl more and more every year; there was something to be said for Gryffindor bravery that she was willing to go against her entire house to speak up for a Slytherin, even if he was the Boy Who Lived.

Tensions got even higher as the first event drew near. When it was announced, everyone in the Great Hall was fluttering around with excitement, while Harry looked positively green. Of course, Ronald Weasley chose that moment to saunter over to them with a taunt.

“Hey, Potter,” he called, “bet you won’t even last five minutes in this competition.”

“Bugger off, Weasley,” he retorted, but his heart really wasn’t in it. When Weasley took a few steps toward them, Draco immediately had his wand out ready to defend his friend if necessary.

“He said, back off Weasley, not come closer. I know you were raised in a barn, but even animals can follow basic instructions,” Draco sneered.

When Weasley drew his wand, too, everything erupted into chaos. “What do you think you’re doing, you little creep?” a big voice boomed. And then Draco was gone and a little white ferret was laying there squeaking in a pile of Slytherin robes.

Their new DADA teacher, Mad Eye Moody was standing and ranting about Draco trying to attack another student and Weasley was laughing his freckled arse off. Harry scooped the little Draco ferret up in his arms and Severus stood in front of him to shield them both. His heart was pounding and he had no idea what to do, but he was wishing that there was someone here he trusted. Professor Black or the Queen or even Mr. Perfect himself. He’d hate to see the look on Lucius’ face if he saw what this horrible man had done to his son and heir, but he’d sure love to see the state Moody would be in when Lucius was done with him.

And then Professor McGonnagall was there, thank Merlin. She might be a Gryffindor, but she was more of a Hermione than a Ronald. “Professor Moody!” she berated. “This is entirely inappropriate behavior from a Professor at Hogwarts! The Headmaster will be hearing about this, you can be certain!” She was honestly rather scary and Severus was grateful that her ire wasn’t directed at him.

She ushered them all to the hospital wing, Severus with his arms full of Draco’s clothes and Harry with his arms full of Draco. It didn’t take long to get Draco back, but it took a lot longer for his pride to recover. The one thing that they’d all learned, though, was that Professor Moody was not to be trusted.

The first event of the tournament came and went and Harry did remarkably well. He’d flown against a dragon and won, which was something not even Viktor Krum could boast. As afraid as he had been for Harry, Severus marveled at his speed and grace on a broom. He wasn’t quite as good as the players in the Quidditch World Cup had been as far as raw skill was concerned, but in Severus’ mind he was better because he was his. His Elton John, his Rocket Man.

When the event was done and things had settled, the Yule Ball was the one thing on everyone’s minds. What was everyone wearing and who was everyone taking? Harry, as a champion, would have to help lead the first dance. Severus didn’t want to get his hopes up, because he knew that Harry was his friend and nothing more, but he couldn’t help wishing for more anyway. He was certain that he’d been in love with Harry since they met and that he’d be in love with Harry forever, but he also knew that Harry deserved so much more than his snark and his big nose and his face hidden behind a curtain of hair. If friendship was what he could have with Harry, he’d gladly take that. He’d faced a life without Harry, and he would never cut him off like that again for any reason.

His resolve was tested, though, when Harry did finally make a move to take someone to the Yule Ball. It certainly wasn’t Severus that he’d asked and, despite the way Severus had vowed to be unbothered so long as he had Harry’s friendship, he couldn’t help his annoyance. He watched Harry approach the Ravenclaw girl and he saw Harry’s hurt face as she let him down gently. He was enraged. How could someone hurt Harry like that? Sweet, smart, lovely Harry who deserved the world and everything in it. Why couldn't Harry want him? He would never make Harry’s face look like that. He said all of this to Pansy who allowed him this rant since he so rarely showed his emotions at all, and was ready to turn his rage onto her when she started laughing at him.

“You know, Sev, for someone as bookish as you are, you really are dumb,” she cackled, examining her manicure casually as she sprawled out on the sofa in the common room.

“What are you talking about, Pansy? You know all of what I said is true! He does deserve better,” he protested. “I would be better,” he said under his breath.

“Have you even looked at the Chang girl?” she demanded. “Of course not, because you’re too busy turning those dark puppy eyes to Harry Potter of all people.” She sat up and pushed his hair away from his face, keeping her hands on his thin cheeks. “Listen to me, Severus Prince,” she said, and he did. No one can ignore Pansy Parkinson. “Has he ever even mentioned Cho Chang to you before?” she asked.

He shook his head slowly. That’s what had made it even more painful to watch. Harry told him everything! Why wouldn’t he tell him about this? It would’ve been nice to have a heads up, at the very least.

“That’s what I thought,” she said, settling back onto the sofa. “Here’s what I think,” she said firmly. “He grew up muggle, right?” Severus nodded. 

“And muggles are pretty uptight about relationships… one man, one woman, all that nonsense, right?” Severus nodded again, not exactly sure where she was headed with this. 

“So imagine this, Severus, my love!” she said extravagantly. “Our little Harry likes a boy. He likes a boy more than the muggles he grew up around would have thought appropriate, you with me? And then he sees a pretty girl, tall and thin, shiny black eyes, long silky black hair, high pretty cheekbones…" she ran a perfectly manicured hand over Severus' cheek, "and he falls all over himself to ask her out. Do you really think some girl that he’s never even mentioned before is the one he wanted to ask out?” She gave him a look that clearly said how dumb she thought he was before holding her compact mirror up to his face. “Or could it be that he’s looking at all the right things in all the wrong places?”

Severus looked in her mirror. He did. He saw his too-pale skin, his large nose, his thin mouth. He rolled his eyes. “Pansy, stop. I appreciate the attempt, but I’d think you could do better than that, darling. I am no one’s idea of attractive, thank you, and I’m certainly no Cho Chang.”

“Of course, you’re not her, love! He likes you. He thinks you’re attractive. He just sees little pieces of you in her and, face it, the boy’s confused and even more oblivious than you are,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re both ridiculous. Now stop moping and paint my toenails for me,” she said, flopping her feet across his lap and effectively cutting off the conversation.

As it turned out, Harry took some random girl to the Yule Ball and made an idiot of himself. He didn’t speak a word to her all night, but to apologize when he stepped on her feet during the first (and their only) dance. Pansy took both Draco and Severus with her, only because she refused to allow Severus to linger in the common room while everyone else went to the dance. “And besides, love, if your father can have two wives, I can certainly take two lovely, if rather uninterested, boys to the ball,” she told them.

How Pansy managed to make her soft pink dress look fierce, Severus would never know, but manage it she did. She was a fierce girl, so maybe that was just her face. Draco was in a soft grey that complimented his complexion and her dress beautifully. Severus wore black, but what else was new? They ended up having a delightful time. It seemed that Severus had really been overthinking the whole thing, honestly, and he felt a little sheepish about it, but he was glad that things worked out well anyway. After Harry had forgotten his date, he joined them and the four of them spent the evening drinking punch and making fun of Weasley who seemed to be pining after Hermione. As if she’d ever give him the time of day, much less when she’d gone to the ball with Viktor Krum, quidditch hero and TriWizard champion, himself.

The rest of their holidays were spent much as they typically were, with the exception of Harry not being with them. He returned to his new home with Sirius and Lupin (Severus was certain now that they were more than friends, by the way, and it gave him hope that Harry might one day be able to accept his own feelings, even if those feelings turned out to not be for him). Severus and Draco returned to the Manor where they did absolutely nothing until time to go back to Hogwarts again.

It was good that they had this reprieve, because Hogwarts had a whole new barrage of excitement for them in the second half of the term, and it was not excitement of the positive kind.


	14. You Nearly Had Me Roped And Tied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A screaming egg and a bloody cold lake

After the holidays, Harry decided that it was time that he devoted some energy to figuring out the second task he’d have to perform. The clue was concealed in a large golden egg - the one he’d gone up against a dragon for - and so their little group, including Pansy and Hermione, gathered in an empty classroom to hear the clue and try to help Harry figure it out. When he opened it, though, the only thing that came out was a loud shrieking noise. Severus took a step back, wondering if he could just leave without upsetting anyone. He had no desire to spend an evening listening to that. Hermione’s eyes went wide as she sat still, baffled, and Pansy simply snapped “Shut it, Potter! Shut it!!!” until he did just that.

“What the hell kind of clue is that??” Harry demanded, obviously disappointed in the lack of direction. Severus shrugged and looked around the room, seeing looks of similar confusion on the faces of all of his companions. Until his gaze rested on Draco.

Draco was standing, eyes narrowed in contemplation. “I feel like I’ve heard something like that before,” he began, “but I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

“How could you hear something like that and not remember it, Draco?” Harry demanded. Severus was inclined to agree. That kind of cacophony was not something he thought he’d soon forget. 

Draco rolled his eyes. “Just give me a moment,” he snapped. “It’s just…. Could that have been mermish?” he said, finally.

Hermione’s eyes widened impossibly before she jumped up. “You could be right!” she exclaimed with unbridled excitement. “We should go to the library and do some research, but I’ve read about that before. Mermish sounds unbearable until you hear it under water and then you can easily understand it! Of course!” It was Severus’ turn to roll his eyes, albeit with some genuine fondness. Of course Hermione had read about it. She read about everything. Sometimes it took just the right nudge to make her brain click, but then she was a bloody encyclopaedia. 

“Well I don’t see why we need to go to the library for it, then,” Pansy’s voice was back to its usual levels of sass. “We can’t open the bloody thing in the library because Pince would actively murder us. Let’s just stick it under the water and test our little theory. Save us all some reading,” she flopped her head back in exasperation as if reading was the worst punishment that could be afflicted on her.

And so that’s what they did. Pansy procured a small bowl and, with some rather clever magic, Hermione enlarged it until it was big enough for the egg and all of their heads to fit in. After they filled the pool with water, Harry put the egg in and they lowered their heads in to hear if it had anything to say.

It turned out that Draco had been correct about the Mermish and now they knew that apparently the mermaids in the lake would be holding something belonging to Harry that he’d have to rescue. All they’d have to do is figure out how to let him swim under the lake for an hour and the rest would be up to him.”I’m just glad it worked out,” Pansy said flatly. “Because if I had stuck my head in a vat of water for nothing, I’d be coming for you, Draco Malfoy.” Judging by the evil glint in her eyes, Severus didn’t doubt that she was serious. Pansy could really be scary sometimes.

A few nights before the task, Harry had assured everyone that, after getting Professor Black's help, he was ready for it and just wanted to relax. So he and Severus were laid on Harry’s bed, curtains drawn around them and an orb of light charmed to float above them, listening to music and imagining they were under their tree with nothing at all to worry about. 

Between songs, Harry propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at Severus. “So how’d you get to know Pansy?” he asked, curious.

Severus sighed. Of course Harry wouldn’t really know that, since Severus had all but cut him off during that time. So he relayed the story of how she’d gotten him away from Weasley and given him no options but to be friends with her. 

Harry laughed. “So, I guess threatening to annoy you with my friendship over the summer was a useful strategy. You knew better than to fight it,” he said. He flopped back down on the pillow and picked up Severus’ hand, studying his long pale fingers and black painted nails. “Do you like her?” Harry asked softly.

“Of course I like her,” Severus chuckled back. “If I didn’t like her, she’d force me to like her anyway. She’s like that," he waved a hand dismissively. 

“No,” Harry started, dropping Severus' hand and looking up at the canopy above them, “I mean, do you like her? You know, like how I like Cho.”

Severus sighed. Cho was still a rather sore subject with him, despite Pansy’s assertions that he had nothing to worry about there. “Harry, I don’t like girls like that,” he said flatly. “Pansy is my friend, nothing more, ever. She knows that.”

“You don’t like… OH, you mean like how Sirius doesn’t like girls?” Merlin, Harry could be obtuse at times, Severus thought. “So Draco was right when he said that? About the veela?”

Severus hummed in agreement. It’s not like there was anything to deny or state. They weren’t muggles, although he could understand why Harry had some misunderstandings about their world. He’d grown up completely outside; at least Severus had had his mother to guide him in wizarding culture. Harry had had nothing but dirty-minded muggles surrounding him for 10 years.

“Well, what about me, then?” Harry pressed. “Draco said the same about me, but, I mean,” he chuckled nervously, “I like Cho, obviously. So, that can’t be right. Right?”

He seemed so desperate and Severus couldn’t bear to continue the conversation. The fact was that they were still young. They didn’t need to know everything right now. “I suppose that’s something you’ll have to work out on your own Harry,” he said softly. He grabbed Harry’s hand and squeezed briefly, tenderly. “You needn’t worry about it right now. We have long lives ahead of us and you have enough on your plate.”

That answer seemed to satisfy Harry for the time being. Unfortunately, it did little to soothe Severus’ feelings on the matter.

Merlin’s tits and Morgana’s balls, the water was cold! Severus had not signed up for this. Harry had not even signed up for this! So why were they both now climbing out of the fucking lake in the middle of February? The Queen had collected him in the middle of the night, put him into an enchanted sleep, and the next thing he knew, Harry was holding him in the lake. He’d have likely enjoyed the embrace if he hadn’t been bloody freezing to death. 

When the egg had said they’d take something belonging to Harry, he hadn’t expected that something would be him! But it was still gratifying to know that he had helped Harry in the tournament in a way that no one else could, that he was the very thing Harry would miss the most, to acknowledge, even if only in his mind, that he belonged to Harry.

Regardless, the second task was now over. Harry had done well and now the only thing to worry about was completing the third task and getting the hell away from Hogwarts for a while. Severus was stressed beyond belief between classes and Harry’s Tri-Wizard Champion status, so he couldn’t imagine how Harry was feeling.

Later that evening, they had a party in the Slytherin common room, celebrating Harry’s coming in first. Despite many students thinking that Harry had cheated his way into the tournament, none of them were complaining now that he was bringing Slytherin some glory. Even if he had cheated his way in, it was clear that he was doing a lot of difficult and dangerous things and he deserved their respect for it. Slytherins weren’t typically a courageous bunch, and they knew it, which made his stunts that much more worthy of awe.

Harry, though, seemed content to spend the party just sitting on the sofa with Severus’ feet in his lap, laughing at Pansy and Draco’s dramatic tango to the Weird Sisters. “Hey, Sev,” he started. “Why don’t you paint these too?” He flicked Severus’ little toe and Severus arched an eyebrow at him before chuckling.

“You’re the only one who’d see them, likely,” he answered simply before getting cheeky. “I didn’t know you cared, darling,” he said, batting his dark eyes in mock flirtation as Harry laughed and rolled his eyes. Severus noticed he didn’t deny it though. He noticed everything about Harry.

“You know, Harry,” he said after a minute, still feeling happy and lazy enough to tease. “Someone saved my life tonight… sugar bear.” He smirked up at Harry, who burst out laughing again.

“You berk!” he said. “It wasn’t even night time!” Severus noticed everything about Harry. And he certainly noticed, with a touch of glee, that he never tried to stop the flirting.


	15. Another Glimpse of the Madman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back, back again.

Preparation for the third Tri-Wizard task was taking up all of their group’s extra time, and Severus couldn’t wait until it was over. He honestly didn’t care if Harry won or lost at this point, he just wanted him to be safe. 

The organizers had left no mystery or riddle regarding the task this time; it was simply to be a garden maze, much like the one at Malfoy Manor, if the one at the Manor was actively trying to kill the people in it. Draco had a great knowledge of possible curses and dangerous creatures that could be hiding within the maze,so he provided information. Severus and Hermione spent their time researching to find counterspells and protective charms. Pansy had a scary knowledge of hexes and offensive spells which she was almost too enthusiastic to share with the group. And Harry just spent all of his free time practicing, making sure that he’d be able to survive whatever was thrown at him, because when it came down to it, it would all be on him.

When the day of the maze task finally arrived, everyone else was just as glad as Severus that it was almost over. All of Draco and Severus’ family came to watch, as well as Sirius and Remus Lupin, so they got to spend the day as one big family; the boys showed off their common room, although Sirius, a quintessential Gryffindor, was rather dismayed to be in the Slytherin dungeons, and the group just wandered over the grounds with leisure. The adults shared stories of their days at Hogwarts while the boys listened eagerly. It was a lovely day that left them all feeling like life would be peaceful and happy forever.

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end. Severus was a bundle of nerves as he sat down in the stands with his family and friends to watch the final task take place. Since he had spent the previous task in the water, this was the first time he got to see how reverse-charmed omnioculars followed each participant around, projecting their progress through the maze onto screens for the audience to view. Despite Severus’ nerves every time Harry ran into an obstacle, he found that Harry was doing amazingly well. In fact, it looked as if he’d win the whole thing! Viktor Krum had been pulled for hexing another champion, Fleur Delacour had been pulled for being hexed and unable to continue. It was all down to the two Hogwarts champions, and Severus jumped up to cheer as Harry arrived at the end of the maze first. He watched in rapture as Harry reached out and took hold of the Tri-Wizard Cup and then sank down in dismay and confusion as both Harry and the Cup disappeared.

What appeared next on the screen had everyone in the stands baffled. Stealing a glance at the Queen, Severus found that even he looked shocked. Harry had landed with the Cup, apparently also a portkey, in a graveyard. A crazed-looking man stood there, holding a bundle of… something? Maybe a baby? Severus barely registered as Mr. Perfect's confused voice murmured “Barty?” from somewhere next to him. The omniocular charm didn’t transfer sound, but they all watched curiously as the man spoke to Harry and then watched in horror as he tied Harry to a gravestone. 

Severus was gripping his mother’s hand on one side and Pansy’s on the other, so tightly it likely hurt, but neither complained. Everyone was in shock and no one knew what to do. They watched as the man took a bone from the ground and dropped it in a cauldron, as the man cut Harry’s arm open and poured his blood into the cauldron. They watched as he cut his own hand off and it, too, went into the cauldron, followed by the bundle that Severus was now quite certain did not contain a baby, but he was not anxious to find out what it did contain.

But everyone did know moments later when a greyish, sickly looking man with a flat snake-ish face rose out of the cauldron. Severus heard Lucius gasp in horror and saw Professor Black running toward them clutching his arm, his face a mask of the horror they were all feeling.

“I’m going to them!” Professor Black shouted when he reached the group. 

“No,” Lucius insisted. “Let me go! My position is already compromised. This is happening now. We need you in the inner circle.”

The two argued back and forth quickly, and then Severus watched as Mr Perfect, his father and his savior, ran across the Hogwarts grounds, disapparating just outside of the wards. Then he was on the screen too, standing by Harry, standing before the grey man who could only be the Dark Lord, standing in a circle of masked men, holding Harry close and disapparating again.

Moments later it was all over, although in some ways it had just begun. Lucius was carrying Harry across the grounds. Harry looked so small and broken. All of their family had stood, and the Queen was rushing toward Lucius, and then Lucius was intercepted by that creep Moody who took Harry and went into the school. Mr Perfect stood, confused and in shock as the family rushed toward him and the Queen followed Moody and Severus didn’t know where to go. He wanted his father and his family. He wanted Harry. They shouldn’t be apart! He should be with them all. He ran to Lucius, feeling very much like a child, and Lucius held him and let him cry. And when Draco got there he joined them and they clung together. Everything was in disarray, everyone was confused. Severus felt their mothers at their backs and so they were all together but Harry wasn’t there. Where was Harry? Where was Harry?

“Where is Harry?” he finally choked out between sobs. The stress of it all, the uncertainty, the fear had gotten to them all so there was no judgement here. “Let us go find him,” Lucius said softly, still in charge, still so perfect. At his words, they all broke apart while still staying as close as possible. Arms around shoulders, hands grasping hands, they made their way to the school to find Harry. It seemed that Lupin and Sirius had already, frantically, made their way to do the same, so when they caught up with them, they found Harry.

They found Harry and Professor Black and the Queen with a strange bound woman. “Bertha Jorkins,” the Queen said sharply in explanation. Severus didn’t think he’d ever seen the headmaster looking so enraged. ‘And that’s really saying something,’ Severus thought somewhat hysterically. ‘He was even calm when I killed a man.’

Explanations for what had just happened began to flow and Severus made his way to Harry’s side where he belonged, confident that his family would also remain. The woman was fed vertiaserum and questioned extensively. “I went missing from my position at the Ministry when I went on vacation,” she spoke in a slow monotone voice, fueled by vertaserum. “I went to Albania to search for the Dark Lord. Everyone thought Barty was dead, but I found him and he told me where to look for the Dark Lord. I found the Dark Lord and brought him back. Barty helped him to stay alive and I came here to get Harry Potter for the ritual. I've been taking polyjuice all year to impersonate the real Mad Eye Moody.” The Dark Lord had planned to kill Harry in front of his followers once his resurrection was complete. He certainly hadn’t planned on everyone witnessing the whole thing, but the deed was done now. 

Mr. Perfect, having once been a follower of the Dark Lord, would now be in danger for having used the Dark Lord's mark to foil his plans. Professor Black would likely still be in the Dark Lord's good graces and would surely be sent to spy on the evil man. It was all terrifying and confusing. Severus marvelled that all their lives could have turned upside down so quickly. 

Harry was taken to the hospital wing to heal the deep cut Barty Crouch had made in his arm and Bertha Jorkins was arrested and taken to the Ministry. Severus wanted to stay with Harry and he wanted to stay with his family and he wanted to sleep until this whole thing was over, but in the end, the Queen insisted that he and Draco go back to their dormitory with the promise that they could see Harry in the morning. 

Severus crawled into his bed, curtains drawn tight, and cried until he fell asleep. At some point in the night, a puffy eyed Draco nudged him awake. Severus nodded and raised the blankets without a word. Draco crawled in and wrapped his arms around Severus; like brothers, they spent the rest of the night curled up together, both comforted by the presence of family and the warmth of another body. 

Early the next morning, they made their way to the hospital wing to see Harry, but the Queen met them on their way. “Now, my boys,” he said, the twinkle back in his eyes, “aren’t things looking brighter this morning?”

‘Obviously,’ thought Severus. ‘The sun does tend to brighten the world. That’s literally it’s only job.’ But he simply nodded. He needn't prolong this conversation with sarcasm. It seemed, though, that the headmaster simply wanted to walk with them, maybe assessing their mental state after the events of the previous night. 

He left them once they arrived at the hospital wing and Severus breathed out a sigh of relief to see Harry sitting up, eating breakfast, and talking to Sirius and Remus. He visibly brightened when he saw Severus and Draco there. 

“I swear to you that I’m alright,” he promised. “Everything was so crazy, but he didn’t really hurt me. I mean. He planned to. But Mr. Perfect saved the day,” his eyes were shining with the same kind of admiration Severus himself felt for his father. Severus watched him carefully, anyway, and what he saw backed up Harry’s claims that he was, in fact, okay. 

They found that the Malfoys had stayed in Hogsmeade for the night and planned to take the boys back home in the morning, exams, leaving feast, and Hogwarts Express be damned. Sirius and Remus had agreed to do the same with Harry and were hoping to be able to stay at Malfoy Manor for a while just so that they could all be together. Despite everyone’s brighter outlook (‘Thanks, Sun,’ Severus thought snarkily), it would do them well to stay united. The Dark Lord was back and the world knew it; he would soon be after them all.


	16. Dust Out the Demons Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Hogwarts for another fun-filled year of teenage love, anxiety, and nightmares.

Severus, Harry, and Draco did their best to spend their summer the way they had when they were younger, when the world was less insane. Just one more time to be free, to be children, before what was certain to be another crazy year. Severus no longer held on to the delusions that his time at Hogwarts was going to be all fun and learning; he knew that they were now truly living in dark times and he only hoped that they could all get through it in one piece.

Lucius stayed at home as much as possible, spending time with his sons and his family. The boys were all glad to have him there, he was warm and intelligent, the glue that held their family together. Sirius and Remus proved to be a lot of fun. They were happy to pick up quidditch games with the boys, to laugh and joke as if they were teenagers again too. Narcissa and Eileen were a warm, soothing constant presence, frequently reminding the boys of their manners and teaching them to be respectable adults in wizard high society. Professor Black, Sirius’ brother, came by occasionally. He’d go into Lucius’ office with him and they closed the door. The boys were unsure what was being discussed there, but they were certain it was about the Dark Lord and they were certain they didn’t really want to know. Not now. Not yet.

Pansy came over sometimes and brought all kinds of new music with her. She painted Severus’ toenails for him and smirked knowingly even as he refused to tell her why he wanted it done. In exchange, she forced him to let her dress him up and put eyeliner on him. He didn’t even put up much objection if he was being honest. There was no point and, after seeing the look on Harry’s face when he saw Severus in tight muggle jeans and black boots, eyeliner ringing his dark eyes, long black hair hanging down over his shoulders, he found that any objection he may have once had was entirely negated.

They had Hermione over for a week at Harry’s birthday and she walked around in complete awe of the magic and life that flowed through their Manor home. It was softer and warmer than the magic of Hogwarts, but no less real, no less present. Severus understood her reaction and he was certain that Harry did too; when one is raised in the muggle world, it's difficult to grasp how deeply magic flowed in the life of a wizard. It was in everything that they did, everything that they were.

In fact, Severus thought that this was precisely what had led to the deep prejudices around muggle-born witches and wizards, what had led to the rise of the Dark Lord in the first place. He knew that Mr. Perfect had once followed him, as had Professor Black, so the followers couldn’t possibly just be all bad people. He inherently understood the hatred and fear of muggles. Muggles were so numerous that they could easily wipe out the wizarding population in an instant if they learned of them, and they wouldn’t hesitate to do so, either out of fear or jealousy. Muggles were cruel and abusive and destructive. Severus, having grown up around muggles, knew this better than most. 

But hatred of muggle-born witches and wizards was a different story. He felt that people like him who had mixed backgrounds, even people like Hermione whose parents must be either muggles or squibs, were really no different than people like Draco, and were certainly better than people like Weasley. And it really seemed that Mr. Perfect, despite having once followed the Dark Lord, believed the same thing, or he’d never have married Eileen and taken her mixed blood son in as his own. But watching Hermione in the Manor, thinking of Harry’s reaction to the varied types of relationships that were accepted in the wizarding world, he thought he could understand. People raised in the muggle world had trouble accepting the differences between this world and the one they knew. They were happy to use magic because it flowed through their very blood and it made life infinitely easier; but they were less eager to accept the cultural differences that they found here. The Dark Lord certainly wasn’t the answer, but Severus couldn’t deny that there was a problem.

When it was finally time to head back to school, the boys boarded the train with an air of resignation. It was time to leave childish things behind. They had no idea what adventures might be in store for them this year, but they knew that it was likely to be dangerous, that bad things were bound to happen, and they planned to weather it as best they could. All they knew for certain is that nothing could be the same; the Dark Lord was out there. He was after Mr. Perfect, he was after Harry, and he was after control of the wizarding world. 

The year started normally enough. They went to classes and did copious amounts of homework. Draco and Harry went to quidditch practice. Severus met Hermione in the library to study. Pansy and Severus lounged around the common room. 

One evening Severus was painting Pansy’s toenails while she read him an article about Green Day, interjecting her opinion that they were absolute sell-outs. He agreed with her and she paused to look at him.

“I know that look, Pansy Parkinson,” he snapped. “I’m not arguing with you. Find some Gryffindors to torment if you’re looking for a fight.”

“I’m not looking for a fight, darling,” she said in a too-sweet tone. 

“Then what do you want?” he sneered, finishing up her left foot and moving on to the right.

“I want Draco,” she said, more straight-forward than usual. Severus thought she must really have it bad if she was willing to tell him about it without a fight.

“Draco doesn’t want anyone. You know that,” he told her slowly, as gently as possible. 

“Oh, I know he doesn’t want anyone like that,” she said decisively. “I’ve thought about it and that’s perfectly fine by me. I respect him for who he is, Sev. I don't want anymore than he can comfortably give. He doesn’t need to kiss me or any of that rot. What do I care? He’s pretty and I like to look at him. He’s a good dancer and he’s smart. We could go dancing together and talk and I could watch him while he studies. We’re perfect for each other.” 

Honestly, she left no room for argument. “Pans, you already do all those things with him. I’m not really sure what you want from me,” he finally said, confused and wishing he hadn’t finished with her nails already because having something to do with his hands right now would be really nice.

She glared at him, blue eyes on fire, one perfect brow raised. “Tell. Him. Obviously,” she spit. “It’s honestly perfect. I already know him and I have no expectations of him doing anything more than he wants to, physically speaking. He knows me and he’s not going to try to stop me from being my precious, perfect self. He’s going to need a wife and he could do worse than giving me a chance…:”

Severus cut her off at that. “He doesn’t need a wife, you know. You’ve met Mr. Perfect. You think he’s going to push Draco into marriage?” He snorted. “Not bloody likely.”

Pansy sat forward and grabbed one of his hands with both of hers and said with mock patience, “Severus. My love. My darling. Did I say anything about Mr. Perfect? I know Mr. Perfect isn’t going to force Draco into anything. Draco is going to force himself into it because he feels it’s his duty. And I repeat. He could do worse than giving me a chance. I have the same duty, you know? My father is trying to arrange marriages for me as we speak. If it works out, Draco can fulfill that sense of duty he thinks he’s got by having a wife, my father will stop trying to set me up with nasty old purebloods, and we can both be happy and comfortable, not having to give up any part of ourselves to duty.” She said duty like it was a dirty word. Perhaps it was. Severus had never really needed to think about his own duty. At any rate, it was clear that she had given this some serious thought.

“Hmph,” Severus scowled. She wasn’t wrong, honestly. He kind of wanted her to be because he always wanted her to be and, as usual, she was not. She never was. Merlin, how did he get stuck with such an obnoxious friend? “Fine. I’ll mention it. But I’m not making any promises. Anything that happens after I mention it is completely out of my hands.” 

“And such lovely hands they are,” she said, grabbing one of them and the bottle of black polish. Severus, resigned, allowed it. 

The further they got into this seemingly normal school year, the more anxious Severus got. He found himself wanting to pull away from Harry and Draco again, like he had a few years ago, just because he was starting to have panic attacks. He didn’t want to pull away, but he didn't want them worrying about him and he definitely didn’t want them writing to his mum. He was just so tired of the anxiety, tired of waiting for something bad to happen, tired of curling up in Pansy’s lap as she stroked his hair and reminded him how to breathe. He was tired of the hurt and questioning looks from Harry, wondering why he stayed away when everything was fine.

Everything was fine. And that was the problem. Because everything being fine is a lie when a magical war is going on in your backyard. The other shoe finally dropped in the middle of the night in October. Severus was only thankful that he was a light sleeper because he was the first up when Harry started screaming.

He went to Harry in an instant, not even stopping to pull a shirt or dressing gown on over his black pajama bottoms. “Harry! Harry!” he repeated, softly nudging him until he sat up quickly, jolting awake, his green eyes wild, blood oozing from the scar on his head.

“He’s angry, he’s so angry,” Harry moaned as Severus sat down next to him on the bed. By this time, Draco had woken up too and Severus directed him to go get Professor Black while he rubbed Harry’s back and tried to calm him down.

When Professor Black arrived he knelt down in front of Harry and looked in his eyes for a while. Severus assumed he was using legilimency in an attempt to figure out what was wrong with Harry. After some time, he patted Harry on the knee and said gently, “You’re okay, Harry. Everything is okay. You seem to have some kind of connection with the Dark Lord, probably related to that scar he gave you. We will begin teaching you occlumency to block this connection as soon as humanly possible. For now, please try to get some sleep, okay?” Severus tried to ignore the instinct that told him Professor Black was hiding something. 

Harry had dropped his head into his hands after Professor Black was done searching his mind. “I’ll try,” he promised. “I don’t want to know these things,” he whimpered softly.

Professor Black’s face was full of hurt and sympathy. “I know, Harry. None of us do, being honest. We’ll fix this. We’re working so hard on it and we will get rid of him, if it’s the last thing I do,” he promised. Harry nodded softly, accepting that this was the best answer he could be given at the moment, and the professor left the room.

“Are you okay, Harry? Do you want to talk about it?” Severus asked him, feeling both very concerned about Harry and very conscious of the fact that neither of them had a shirt on right now.

Harry leaned his head against Severus’ shoulder. “I’m okay, we’ll get through it. We always do, right?” He chuckled without humor. “It’s just… would you mind staying, Sev?” he whispered. 

Severus froze. They hadn’t slept together in the same bed in years, if ever. Severus didn’t object. He really didn’t object! But he wasn’t sure it would be terribly appropriate, all things considered. He couldn’t really deny Harry when he sounded so desperate though. 

“It’s okay, Sev. Don’t worry about it,” Harry's defeated voice cut into his thoughts and he started to pull away. In response, Severus did the only thing he could think of: he wrapped his other arm around Harry and pulled his head close to his chest.

“Of course I’ll stay with you, Harry. I’m just tired and got lost in my thoughts is all,” he murmured. “Come on now.” He lay back onto Harry’s bed, pulling Harry along with him. Once Harry was settled, his head still on Severus’ chest and Severus’ arms still around him, he finally relaxed and seemed to drift back to sleep. Severus breathed in the soft scent of Harry’s wild dark hair and relished the feel of Harry’s firm honey coloured skin pressed against his, thinking all the time that this was both a terrible idea and the best thing he’d ever felt. It was a long time before Severus got back to sleep that night.


	17. We Had It With Your Discipline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr Perfect vs the Pink Toad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really want to bring her in to this, honestly, but seeing Lucius go up against her was too much to resist. You're welcome.

‘This bloody new defense teacher is utterly abysmal!’ thought Severus, slamming his books down onto a table in the common room. One would think that, with the knowledge that the Dark Lord had truly returned and war was on their doorstep, the Queen would find the best, most capable instructor out there to teach the students to defend themselves if the need arose. But no, he found no one at all and allowed the Minister for Magic to hire the most incompetent toad Severus had ever seen in his life, and Severus had met an extraordinary number of utterly incompetent individuals, so saying she was the worst was a rather harsh slight. Certainly, the class wasn’t difficult and none of them would have trouble passing it since their only assignment was literally to just read the book, but this was a testing year for him and his friends! How were they supposed to pass their Ministry standard OWL tests when their Ministry standard professor refused to teach?

Severus had groused to his friends and in his letters to his mother. He had groused to Professor Black and in his letters to Mr. Perfect. But no one seemed to have any advice for him other than to just stick it out and do his best. That is, until he took his grousing to Hermione, who both thoroughly agreed and decided, in true Gryffindor fashion, that they needed to take immediate action. Thus, the Defense Club was formed.

It began with just Severus and Hermione and was little more than a study group where they practiced defensive and offensive spells on one another in empty classrooms. But after a few meetings, Severus decided he needed to drag his friends along because he didn’t want to spend the evening studying only to have them demand to help him later, thus forcing him to do the work twice. Eventually, Hermione convinced a few Gryffindors to join them too, which made life very interesting; Gryffindors and Slytherins cooperating for once. From there, the Defense Club just grew until nearly everyone from years 4 and up showed up at least every now and then. The pink toad teacher had tried to ban gatherings of students, but they just changed times and locations every time so that she couldn't catch them and it seemed to work well. Severus rolled his eyes whenever he thought of the fact that they were students in a school sneaking around merely to study. What on earth had the Minister been thinking?

Harry, on the other hand, was still struggling with his little sleeping problem. Professor Black had been patiently attempting to teach him occlumency, but with little success. Finally, Severus requested that he be allowed to learn the skill as well. It was a well known fact that Severus helped Harry with all of his school work, barring divination (Severus was quite certain that Harry and Draco both simply made up the most morbid predictions they could conjure for that class, but he wasn’t sure he truly wanted to know about it), so it made sense that Severus be allowed to help him with this as well.

It worked well, to a degree. Severus seemed to have a natural talent for occlumency and built up barriers that impressed even Professor Black rather quickly. However, he was still unable to teach Harry how to mimic this skill. “Just clear your mind,” Severus kept repeating, with increasing degrees of frustration.

“I don’t understand how!” Harry kept shooting back, equally exasperated. 

The Dark Lord’s thoughts continued to invade Harry’s dreams and Severus often woke up to him whimpering or worse. This all came to a head right around Christmas when the entire dorm was roused by Harry screaming “He punched Mr. Perfect!” over and over. Severus and Draco both panicked and rushed to wake Harry up, concerned that their father had been captured. But the truth of it turned out to be much better for them and much worse for someone else.

It hadn’t been Mr. Perfect that the Dark Lord had attacked at all, but the man who punched him back before their second year. Ronald Weasley’s father had been attacked by the Dark Lord’s familiar, a giant snake, and Harry had witnessed it all. It apparently happened in the Ministry and, and after listening carefully to Harry’s description, Draco was able to discern that it happened in the Department of Mysteries. This had the Queen scrambling to help Arthur Weasley and send his children back to their mother. As it was only days before the holiday break anyway, he also sent Draco, Harry, and Severus back to Malfoy Manor, knowing they’d be worried about Mr. Perfect (not that the Queen called him that) and that after Harry’s episode, they’d all have trouble focusing.

The holidays were nice. Mr. Perfect managed to procure an artifact that could help Harry to protect his mind to some degree, although he was still instructed to continue working on occlumency, so that was a load off. But the boys were still curious what Arthur Weasley, who worked in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department, had been doing in the Department of Mysteries in the middle of the night anyway. Professor Black, Sirius, and Mr. Perfect had all told them repeatedly not to worry about it which, to them, meant that they knew and refused to tell them. Intrigue! The only part of their advice that Severus was in complete agreement with was that Harry needed to learn occlumency and block the Dark Lord. 

Professor Black had brought up a perfectly legitimate point that, if the Dark Lord knew of this connection, he would be able to implant false visions into Harry’s head. And they all knew that Harry had the inclination to behave rashly when he thought something was very important. Severus tried to double down on his efforts to help Harry with occlumency, but as it turned out, merely repeating “Clear your mind,” over and over, while true enough, only served to frustrate them both and make Harry’s head ache.

When they returned to school, they still had no further theories about the Department of Mysteries, but Harry and Severus were both ready for the break that classes and quidditch and Pansy would provide from the constant stress of occlumency. Severus was rapidly coming to the conclusion that he may as well just back off from trying to help Harry, lest he lose him altogether. Upon their arrival to Hogwarts, Harry had taken back his obsession with staring longingly at Cho Chang, probably thinking about how she wouldn’t keep telling him to clear his mind. So it was for the best to just give it up, Severus thought; Professor Black would have to do his best for Harry with occlumency after all. 

Upon returning, they also found that the pink toad had been utterly enraged that they had left school early. There was no particular reason for her ire, other than that their leaving had pointed out to her that some things were, in fact, out of her control. The fact that the Queen had told her a family emergency had been involved did not dissuade her in the least, and since the Minister for Magic had given her some modicum of control at Hogwarts, she had the authority to punish them since she hadn’t had the authority to stop them leaving in the first place. She assigned them all a week’s detention for it which, while rather traumatic, turned out to be the best thing that could have happened.

They arrived for their first detention after dinner on their first Monday back.

“Alright boys,” she said in a sickeningly sweet voice, “you will all be writing lines for me.” Severus struggled to keep a sneer off his face; honestly, how would writing lines prevent them from having a family emergency in the future? “With these,” she followed up, producing a set of black quills. “No ink will be required.”

Draco’s sharp gasp when she gave them the quills they were meant to write with was rather telling that this would not be a typical session of writing lines, so Severus began feeling a bit less confident. He understood the gasp when he began to write with the sharp black quill and found that the “ink” he was writing with was his own blood, the words “I will not be distracted from my studies” carving themselves directly into his hand as they transferred to the parchment. The three of them pressed forward with their lines until she finally let them go for the evening, at which point they went directly to Professor Black, demanding they be allowed to firecall both Sirius and Mr. Perfect.

An enraged Mr. Perfect was truly a thing of beauty, as Severus and Pansy had the pleasure of witnessing the following day. Mr. Perfect had wasted no time getting the Board of Governors involved and had arrived the next morning, looking as regal as always, his grey eyes on fire, with a team of Aurors to arrest the pink toad for illegal use of artifacts against a minor. 

“You’re all going to pay for this!” she shrieked in protest. “The Minister himself gave me the authority to clean things up at this school however I saw fit! You’re not going to get away with this!”

Lucius leveled a cold gaze at her. “You have harmed my sons, Madam,” he said, his voice so full of venom that even Severus was almost frightened by it. “I assure you, it will be the last mistake you will ever make in this school. I fully intend to press charges against you and Malfoys don’t lose.”

Her froggy face paled at that, and she left more or less calmly with the Aurors, bewildered at how her power could have been stripped so quickly.

Pansy grabbed Severus’ arms in delight. “Did you see him? He was bloody brilliant! Oh, I want to be part of your family so bad, Sev!” she moaned.

Severus smirked, “Of course he was brilliant, love. He’s Mr. Perfect. We didn’t name him that arbitrarily, you know?”

She rolled her eyes back at him, but really couldn’t say anything about it. She knew he was right.

Later that day, after Lucius had met with the Queen to discuss finding a new DADA teacher, he caught up with Severus, Harry, and Draco. He apologised to Harry for Sirius’ absence and promised that he had wanted to come. Sirius was working to get his position with the Aurors reinstated and really couldn’t be away right now. But he had written to Harry and Harry seemed appeased by the letter that Mr. Perfect handed to him. He carefully examined the boys’ hands, almost to the point of annoyance, to ensure that no lasting damage had been done which they allowed because, not only had he just saved them from the pink toad’s power trip, but he had done so with such style that they were still rather in awe of him.

When he had carefully inspected all three of them and made Harry straighten his tie, he got to the point of his meeting with them. “First of all, I want to apologize to you for subjecting you to that woman.” He looked at Severus. “I was aware of your complaints about her, but I had no idea she was sadistic as well as incompetent. I have full confidence in all of your abilities to succeed in your school work no matter how inadequate your instructors are, but no teacher is allowed to harm their students,” he said in such a way that they knew his word was law. The boys all knew already that they could trust him to keep them safe, but the affirmation was nice.

“That said, we will have to find a new instructor for your Defense classes and we shall. But it may take some time. Had Dumbledore made the Board of Governors aware of the situation over the summer instead of allowing the Minister to appoint that unfit toad, we wouldn’t have this problem, but here we are. In the meantime, myself and the headmaster are well aware of your little study group and we ask you to continue it, with school sanction this time,” he smirked at them as they sheepishly gazed back. They weren’t ashamed of having gone against the toad’s orders, but being called out on it by Mr. Perfect was a bit intimidating. 

They did what they were told though. For the next month, the Defense Club met with more confidence and more regularity. Hermione seemed pleased to no longer be breaking the rules and Pansy was annoyed that she was now part of some swotty study group instead of being part of the pink toad rebellion, but they all continued to take part. They made a lot of progress, both in learning the material and teaching their fellow students, so that when Professor Lupin was approved to return as their teacher, he was proud and delighted of how well they were doing despite having a good-for-nothing teacher for the first half of the year.


	18. Feeling Like A Little Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Department of Mysteries fiasco? Draco is confused at Harry's attempts to Spice Up his Life.

With the pink toad out of the way and Severus giving up on “helping” Harry with occlumency, the year started to go much more smoothly. Harry still seemed to be pining over Cho Chang, which rankled Severus a bit; especially when he noticed that Harry only ever seemed to be caught staring in her direction when she was with her boyfriend, Cedric. This new development was his only contribution to his and Pansy’s conversation for weeks.

“Honestly, Sev, calm down about it! So he has a new crush… you should be glad of it!” she finally snapped at him. “If he’s checking out a guy, then he’s finally accepting that part of himself and you’re one step closer to where you want to be with him. Besides, whose bed is he crawling into when he has his little nightmares, hm?” she asked him.

He fixed her with his most wicked glare. “Mine,” he said in a low voice, “but I didn’t tell you that so you could hold it against me. Or him. He only does that because he needs comfort, not because he needs me.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Whatever, darling. He’s not seeking comfort from Cedric Diggory or Cho Chang, though, is he?”

She was so infuriating. He couldn’t argue with her because she wasn’t wrong, so he just continued to glare at her. She ignored his glares in favor of stepping behind him and running her fingers through his hair. “I wish you’d tell me how you keep it so smooth. Every girl out there would pay for that potion, you know. Straight hair is in.”

He still didn’t answer her, but as he relaxed into the feeling of her fingers on his scalp, he couldn’t help feeling like he’d given in somehow.

She hadn’t been wrong about Harry though. He was still crawling into Severus’ bed several nights a week seeking comfort, his eyes puffy and the scar on his head bright red and sometimes bloody. Severus knew this was a problem - a big problem - but as there was really nothing he could do about it, he just continued to hold Harry at night and go through the day under the burden of guilt he felt for enjoying the feeling of Harry’s skin against his more than Harry would likely want him to.

He was concerned, too, and started feeling a bit anxious again. The other Dark Lord shoe had dropped when Harry started having visions and nightmares, but they still were unsure what it all meant. What did the Dark Lord want in the Department of Mysteries? Would he discover the connection between himself and Harry? If so, how would he use that connection, because there was no doubt that he would use it. The Dark Lord was, before all else, a Slytherin, after all.

They all carried on, though. Between classes and studying and quidditch, spending time with their friends and pondering the Dark Lord’s actions and motives, the year flew by rather quickly. Before Severus knew it, they were sitting for their OWL exams and at that point, there was no time for pondering anything other than the exams. 

That is, until Harry had a vision in the middle of one.

Severus was just wrapping up his History of Magic exam when Harry toppled out of his chair and began screaming. The examiners quickly ushered him out of the room, citing the stress of exam week as the cause. But Severus knew better. He turned his paper in and quickly followed after Harry. When he caught up to him, Harry’s words sent a chill into Severus’ heart.

“He’s got Mr. Perfect.”

Severus could have screamed. His first reaction was to deny it. The Dark Lord couldn’t have taken Lucius Malfoy. The man was too smart, too strong, too perfect. But then he realized that it wouldn’t be the first time the slippery snake man had tricked his father. It was through trickery that he’d taken Harry during the Tournament last year. They had to do something! They had to rescue Mr. Perfect. He had rescued them so many times; the thought of not rescuing him back was unbearable.

They rushed to Professor Black only to find that he was teaching a class, likely involving some kind of volatile potion because his door was locked. Professor Lupin was locked away in the hospital wing recovering from his full moon affliction. With nothing else to do, they went to the headmaster’s office, only to be told that the headmaster had left the school for the afternoon. They’d have to take action themselves! They were out of options.

They waited for Draco, Hermione, and Pansy to finish their exam before doing anything, but Severus was horribly aware of the seconds ticking away. Seconds in which his father was being tortured, seconds in which his father’s life could be lost. 

When they were finally all together and Harry had urgently told them what was going on, Pansy was ready to jump into action. 

“I say we go kick some Dark Lord arse, then!” she exclaimed. “Let’s save Mr. Perfect!” Severus felt a rush of love and gratitude toward her for that. For all her sass and ferocity, she honestly was the great platonic love of his life.

“But wait,” Hermione said, and Severus began to lose patience with his bushy-haired friend, “what if this is a trap?” she wondered. “Didn’t Professor Black tell you that the Dark Lord could manipulate this connection if he learned of it? What if that’s what this is? I mean, we know that two of the things he wants the most are you, Harry, and Mr. Malfoy. He could be luring you in as bait, knowing that he’d come to save you like he did before, and then he’d have you both.” Severus did stop to consider her words. She wasn’t necessarily wrong and he had to admit that the thought of the Dark Lord capturing both Harry and Mr. Perfect was completely unacceptable and literally his worst nightmare. 

“Perhaps,” he said slowly, thinking of Hermione's wise words, “perhaps we should try to call my mother. Or Draco’s. They should know better than we do where their husband is right now. But if they don’t, then I think it’s time to admit we’ve got a big problem.”

Harry still looked panicked and Draco’s grey eyes were wild with emotion, but they both agreed that calling the Manor was a wise course of action. Severus grabbed Harry’s hand and held tight and Pansy wrapped an arm around Draco’s narrow waist as he buried his face against her shoulder. Hermione, ever practical, tried to figure out the location of a floo that they could use right now.

“Oh!” Hermione smacked her forehead. “Didn’t you say Professor Lupin is in the hospital wing?” She continued at Severus’ anxious nod, “That means his office is empty and he surely wouldn’t mind you using his floo to call home. I mean, it is an emergency, right?”

The answer was so obvious that Severus wanted to kick himself for not thinking of it. His mind was so muddled with panic that it just hadn’t clicked with him and he was rethinking his previous irritation with Hermione and her cool frizzy head. They quickly made their way to Lupin’s office, thanking Merlin that he hadn’t locked it more securely than a simple “Alohomora” would take care of.

They all scrambled inside, closing the door behind them, as Draco threw the powder into the fireplace and frantically called out “Malfoy Manor!” Narcissa answered, obviously confused to see her son’s head in the fireplace, and even more confused when he explained that he desperately needed to know where his father was. 

“He’s right here, darling,” she said, calling Lucius’ name. Their group all sank in relief when Lucius appeared demanding to know why they were in his fireplace instead of taking their exams. Harry was the first to crack a smile at that, but before they knew it all five of them were doubled over in hysterical laughter. Hermione was, of course, the first to recover, and she stepped forward and explained what had happened. 

Mr. Perfect did not find the whole thing quite so amusing. Even through the green light of the floo, they could see his porcelain face pale. “The Dark Lord must be on his way there,” he said stoically. “I need to alert some people. Please excuse me, children.”

“Wait!” Draco shouted, having sobered up as quickly as the rest of them at his father’s obvious distress. “Father, please don’t go yourself,” he begged. “Tell the Aurors! Or… or tell Dumbledore. Or anyone. Just don’t go to him, please!” Severus couldn’t agree more, and stepped forward to say as much.

Before he could, Mr. Perfect arched a pale eyebrow at Draco’s pleading. “Draco, do you take me for a reckless man?” Draco sat back and shook his head sheepishly. “Precisely. I will not put myself in danger’s way without a very valid reason. Do not worry yourself about anything beyond your OWL results, son. All will be taken care of and neither myself nor any of you need be in danger to accomplish this.” 

They all left the DADA office and headed out to the courtyard. Spring had fully sprung, the weather was delightful, and now that they had been assured that all was as well as it could be, they could relax in the sun knowing that their exams were complete and they’d be headed home soon. 

They found a tree to lay under and curled up together there, Pansy with her head on Draco’s shoulder and Hermione’s curly head in her lap, Harry with his head in Severus’ lap,and Severus leaning against Draco’s opposite side. 

“Hey, guys, you know what we are?” Harry started cheerfully as Severus groaned “Oh, Merlin, here we go.”

Harry ignored him and continued, “The Spice Girls! We’re totally the Spice Girls! I’m obviously Sporty and I think Sev has to be Posh. And sorry, Hermione, Pansy has to be Scary. You’ve got the look for it, but, I mean, she’s really actually scary. So, that makes you Ginger. And Draco is Baby!” 

Hermione burst out laughing as Pansy and Severus fixed Harry with flat, incredulous looks and Draco just looked baffled. “I'm… an infant??” he asked slowly.

"Come on," Harry said, “We’re five cool people going on adventures together and hanging out and stuff! Girl power, am I right?” 

“Harry, if you insist on being a pop star, please just stick to Elton John,” Severus moaned, running an affectionate hand through Harry’s wild hair as Harry just laughed. 

“So you do admit that I’m Elton John, then, huh Sev?”

“Cheeky brat,” Severus murmured affectionately before Draco finally spoke up.

“Oi, seriously! Did you call me a baby?” he asked. “Why?”

They all laughed at that and could have kept the banter going all evening had Weasley not shown up with his gang of idiots. 

“Ooh, what have we here lads? Looks like a bunch of swotty rich kids waiting for someone to come along and shut them up,” the other boys laughed as if he’d said something funny, but Severus wasn’t sure what could possibly be amusing about that. He was just glad he wasn’t alone right now.

“Oi, Snivellus, killed anyone yet this year?” he said, more maliciously than he’d begun. “Guess we better stop you from trying, eh?”

But before Weasley could even draw his wand, the rest of Severus’ group had drawn their wands and each fired a different hex at him. So it seemed their Defense Club had come in handy in more than one way. Severus smirked as he looked at the slug-like blob laying where Weasley had stood moments before. 

“Oh, shit!” Pansy said through peals of laughter. “Let’s get out of here!” 

They all ran back to the safety of the castle and Severus thought maybe living through a war wouldn’t be so bad. As long as they all stayed safe, as long as the outcome was positive in the end, as long as they were together always, he could deal with anything life threw at them.


	19. This Restless Warrior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A prophecy and a declaration.

Before they got to go home that year, Harry was called to the Queen’s office for a highly secret meeting that left Severus feeling anxious. Pansy pulled him aside and calmly started removing the black polish from his nails and reapplying it, telling him all the latest gossip. He let her snappy voice wash over him and it somehow soothed him better than almost anything could. She made it through his fingers and toes and had him starting to work on hers in a rather Slytherin shade of green before Harry got back from his meeting, never ceasing in keeping him engaged and distracted, always taking care of him.

When Harry finally did arrive, he flopped down next to Severus looking rather shell-shocked. “I don’t want to talk about it yet,” he said softly. Pansy wasted no time in taking the nail polish back from Severus and beginning on Harry’s nails.

“Pans,” Severus said, slightly baffled, “Why is a manicure your go-to stress reliever?” To his knowledge, Harry had never even expressed interest in having his own nails done, although he seemed to like Severus’ well enough. 

“Because it works, darling,” she said simply. “It feels good, it looks gorgeous, and it’s a nice distraction.”

As usual, Severus couldn’t argue with her, so he just let Harry sag against him and watched as Pansy calmly worked. When she’d finished the first hand, Harry lifted his it to study his now dark green nails. He seemed to have recovered a bit from whatever the Queen had to say to him and suggested they get the rest of their group together so that he could tell them all that he knew without having to repeat it

An hour later, The Spice Girls, as Harry still insisted on calling them, had gathered in an empty classroom on the 5th floor and Harry began telling them all that he knew. Apparently the thing in the Department of Mysteries that the Dark Lord had been trying to get to had been a prophecy; a prophecy regarding Harry himself and the Dark Lord. It had been predicted that Harry would be the one to defeat him, using a “power the Dark Lord knows not,” which was the apparent reason that he had gone after Harry and his parents when Harry was a baby.

“Doesn’t that mean,” asked Draco, “that you’ve already fulfilled the prophecy then? I mean, you did defeat him when you were a baby.”

“That’s what I thought too,” said Harry, resigned. “But the Queen doesn’t seem to think so. He thinks I’ll have to do it again. Like, I’m the only one that can do it for some reason. I don’t know. I mean, I’m just a kid! If the Queen can’t do it, why should I be able to?”

He looked so lost that Severus couldn’t bear it. He wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him close; Harry didn’t resist at all, which he was grateful for. The group continued discussing the prophecy and the events in the Department of Mysteries after they had firecalled Mr. Perfect. Dumbledore and some Aurors had made it there in time to catch a number of the Dark Lord’s followers trying to break into the Department. The Aurors had managed to subdue a number of the Death Eaters before Voldemort himself had arrived. And so the Queen had dueled the Dark Lord, which must have been a sight to see. Before he was able to defeat him, however, the Dark Lord had apparated away. At that point, the Queen finally found it necessary to share the details of the prophecy with Harry. Severus thought he probably should have been made aware of this last year when the Dark Lord had risen, but that was neither here nor there. 

Honestly, Severus still felt like they didn’t have all of the information. He knew that the Dark Lord had been kept alive by creating a number of horcruxes which Professor Black had been hunting down and trying to destroy. He knew that Mr. Perfect and Professor Black had once followed the Dark Lord but had, thankfully, defected, although Professor Black was still spying on the man to the best of Severus’ knowledge. He felt that the best course of action from here would be to have a long conversation with their family, with Professor Black, with Mr. Perfect, and with Sirius. They needed more information if they were going to be able to defeat the Dark Lord and live the peaceful, magical lives they had spent their childhood dreaming of. 

And Severus fully intended to see the Dark Lord defeated. If Harry was the one who had to do it, Severus would be right there beside him. Always.

The chance to have that conversation came sooner than expected. In fact, they hadn’t needed to initiate the conversation at all. Once they got home for the summer, Mr. Perfect had Harry, along with Sirius, over one day and called them all into his office. Professor Black was there and told them how he had discovered the horcruxes years ago when the Dark Lord had attempted to kill his house elf while hiding one. He had been in search of them ever since, and while he had found one, he had never figured out a way to destroy them until the boys’ second year. The year that Mr. Perfect had fully defected, because of Harry. Professor Black suspected that the reason Harry was prophesied to be the one to defeat the Dark Lord was not because Harry was the one who had to do the final fighting, but because before Harry had come into the wizarding world, the method for destroying horcruxes had been unknown. 

Severus could understand all of that. It made perfect sense and it actually made him feel a lot better to know that Harry was not the one who had to deal the final blow; only that Harry had to be a part of the wizarding world to set the events in motion. At least, it made him feel better until Professor Black gave them the last, the most painful, bit of information that he had. 

“There’s no easy way for me to say this,” he began. “Harry, the connection that you have with the Dark Lord… I believe that he inadvertently made you into a horcrux when he attempted to kill you. I could feel it as soon as I met you but I wasn’t sure exactly what it meant at the time. The more research I’ve done, the more thinking I’ve done, the more I’ve talked with Dumbledore… I’m sure that it’s true. I’m so sorry, Harry.”

Harry’s shoulders drooped as he said “It’s okay, Professor Black. It’s not your fault.” After a beat he said, in a much smaller voice, “So, I’ll have to die then.” He said it, not as a question, but as a statement of fact. 

Lucius looked at him sadly and Professor Black paused and Severus couldn’t take it. “No! No, Harry this is not happening. I won’t allow it!” He wrapped an arm protectively around Harry as if holding him now could stop the future in all its ugliness from barrelling toward them.

“Of course we won’t allow that!” Sirius bellowed, looking at his brother with rage. Professor Black merely looked back at him as if to say “don’t hex the messenger.”

“We’ll try to find another way, Harry,” Lucius told him softly, sadly. “We’ll do anything that we can.” Severus looked at his father in disbelief, grief already filling his grey eyes, grief for a boy that was sitting right there alive and well. 

“You have to,” Severus begged, knowing but not caring that he sounded like a child. “Please.”

He simply repeated himself as if there was nothing more to be said. “We’ll do all that we can, son.”

Knowing that no more information would be coming today and knowing that, even if it did, he was ill equipped to handle it, Severus left in a swirl of dark robes. He stormed up to his room and flung himself to his bed, not caring if he was being childish or dramatic. He couldn’t lose Harry. He simply couldn’t. He’d lose himself if he lost Harry. 

He could see it all, a 30 year old Severus, drowning in stiff black robes, dark hair greasy and unkempt because he simply couldn’t be bothered. He could see himself never smiling, snapping at everyone, because without his Elton John there’d be no music in the world. He knew he’d never forget whether those dear eyes were green or blue because that particular shade of green would haunt him for the rest of his days. Without Harry, his first friend, his best friend, he’d live as a shell of the man he’d always thought he’d grow into one day. He knew that he could live and he could thrive if Harry never loved him the way he hoped for; he had honestly grown to expect that, and he knew he’d be alright. But this... how terrible would life be without Harry in the world.

He had no idea how long it had been. He only knew that when the soft, tentative knock came on his door, he was completely cried out. He lay staring at the ceiling and after a moment invited whoever was at the door to come in without moving. Harry softly closed the door behind him and sat down next to Severus. “I don’t want to die, you know,” he said, laying back, placing his head on Severus' shoulder.

Severus instinctively curled his arm around Harry. This was where Harry belonged. Severus never wanted to move. “I know, Harry,” he said softly into Harry’s dark hair, “I just fear that, if the time comes, you’ll greet death easily in order to save the world. But I’m not like you, Harry. I’m selfish. I’m so very selfish that the only part of the world I care about saving is you.”

Harry nuzzled in closer. “I love you, you know,” he said simply. Severus didn’t dare move. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I can’t face any of it without you knowing that." He chuckled then. "I've been so confused and trying to deny it. But right from the beginning, I think I knew on some level. I knew that Draco was right about the veela.”

Severus chuckled at that. “Look at his father, Harry. Draco is many things, but before all else, he is Mr. Perfect’s son. Don’t expect him to be wrong often.”

“I know, I know,” Harry laughed along with him. “I know that now.” After a beat he finished, "It was you all along, Sev. It was always you.”

Severus had no words, he had been overwhelmed first by the thought that Harry needed to die and then by Harry’s realization that he felt the same way. He said the only thing that he could at that moment. “Harry," he sighed, "I love you, too, you brat.” He had thought a moment ago that he was all cried out, but he felt fresh tears on his cheeks now. Ignoring them he wrapped his other arm around Harry and just held him close, turning on his side and pressing their foreheads together. There was no need for any more talking. There was no need for anything else at all. Right then, he had the whole world in his arms and the world was happy to be there.


	20. I'm Never Never For Certain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus realises his ambitions and finds something interesting.
> 
> "But wait! There's more!" -the Queen

The war efforts were progressing rapidly and Severus went back to Hogwarts that year with the attitude of one heading to a battleground. The Spice Girls huddled together in a train compartment, unsure who else could be trusted, but thankful to know they all had each other's backs. Severus knew that when they got to school there would be students, many of them in his own house, who were against them, and he knew to be on guard constantly. 

Mr. Perfect had managed to track down his old Head of House from his days at Hogwarts; the man had worked there for many years and apparently had some intel on the Dark Lord. From the information that Lucius painstakingly gotten from him, they were able to determine that Voldemort had likely divided his soul seven times, not counting the bit that was in Harry, so they were all grateful to have an idea what they were working against at the very least. Professor Black had managed to destroy the first horcrux he had ever found, a locket, and locate and destroy another, a ring, over the summer, so with three gone counting the journal that had killed Ginevra Weasley, they were well on their way. Times were dark and uncertain, but there was, at least, hope to be found.

Despite knowing that they were at war and that Harry, and by association he and the rest of their friends, were right in the thick of it, Severus found some sense of relief when entering the Great Hall again. Here they were just students attending another year of school; they only needed to watch the new first years be sorted, to listen to the Queen speak about unity. Here they could stop thinking about Dark Lords and horcruxes, about politics and death, just for a moment. 

After the welcoming feast, Harry received a note from the Queen letting him know that he'd be meeting with him periodically throughout the year to give him private instruction regarding the war. 

“They’ve already told you that you’re supposed to die,” Severus hissed. “What more can he possibly have to tell you, Harry?” Severus asked, utterly exasperated at how much stake everyone around them seemed to be placing on a 16 year old boy.

Harry just patted his hand comfortingly. “Whatever it is, Sev, I’ll tell the Spice Girls all about it. You know that. Girl power!” he lifted his calloused fingers into a peace sign as Severus rolled his eyes.

Draco, still rather confused about his role as Baby Spice, chimed in, “The Queen,” he said the nickname with a heavy dose of sarcasm, “is a wacky old coot. My father’s been saying so for years. I wouldn’t worry too much about what he wants, Sev. He probably wants to feed Harry some lemon drops because he was looking a little peaky.”

Severus snorted both because of Draco’s words and because there was a possibility that it was the absolute truth. Queen Dumbledore was a rather strange old man. It didn’t entirely ease his concern though. How much more could they pile on their Savior before he just collapsed? Before he just gave up?

As they settled into their lessons, Severus started wanting to experiment again. His previous attempts at spell creation had certainly put him off it for a while, but his drive to learn, his drive to help in the war, his drive to make an impact on the wizarding world, had finally caught up with him again. 

He resolved to do better this time. He always worked with Hermione and he never worked without a teacher that he trusted present. Even with his new self-imposed rules, he still didn't feel confident enough to work on offensive spells. He did jot sectumsempra down in the margins of his potions text though; despite his past experience with it, it certainly could be useful in a war. And technically, it had already served to get rid of one of the Dark Lord's followers, so it had proven its worth even though it made Severus sick to his stomach to think about. 

He did most of his experimentation on potions, with Hermione as his partner and under the careful tutelage of Professor Black. He made many improvements to their existing potions text, which he noted in his book and shared with his friends to help them improve their potions scores as well. Professor Black was so pleased with his work that he suggested Severus apply for a potions mastery when he graduated. 

Severus was happy to consider this option and tentatively planned to do just that. He enjoyed the action of brewing, the precise science and the calm repetition of it, and he enjoyed the mental aspect as well. Applying his knowledge of ingredients and techniques to develop new theories, to design new recipes and improve existing ones was something that excited him and something that he felt he could make a name for himself with. Yes, potioneering was definitely something he could do. Provided he survived the war, that is.

When Harry had his first lesson with the Queen, Severus was on edge the whole evening. He spent the first hour alternately pacing and burying his head in Pansy’s lap as she tried to read.

Finally Pansy threw her magazine at him in exasperation. "Sev, just go take a walk or something! You're driving me crazy!"

"He's already been told that he's supposed to die for this war, Pansy," he hissed back at her. "Can you blame me for being nervous about what he's hearing now?"

"Just go take a walk, darling," she said in a softer tone. "Harry will tell all when he gets back and you'll feel better if you can walk off those nervous vibes you're giving off right now."

Severus grunted in agreement and left the common room. He wandered the halls of the castle with only his thoughts for company and no real destination in mind. He walked until he reached the Seventh Floor corridor and spotted Filch's creepy cat at the end of the hall, so he turned back the way he came only to hear Weasley's laughing voice coming from that direction. 

"Shit shit shit," he mumbled to himself. He paced back and forth quickly thinking only that he needed a place to hide for a moment when suddenly a door appeared in front of him. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he quickly entered and shut the door quietly behind him. 

What he saw there was like nothing he'd ever seen before. Heaps of junk filled the room, many of the piles towering above his head. A kind of dark feeling permeated the entire room and he was intrigued. All else forgotten, he began picking through the pile nearest him, discarding broken things and joke shop toys. He assumed this must be where people hid things or perhaps where vanished objects go? None of this explained the dark feel of the magic in the room though.

He spent an inordinate amount of time searching the room and finding nothing of real interest. He couldn't shake the thought that something was here waiting to be found though. He cast a tempus charm and realised that he'd wasted hours in here! Harry would be looking for him! How had he let his mind slip so far from Harry at a time like this? 

Brushing the dust off himself, he swiftly exited the room. Vowing to come back again soon to continue his exploration, he ran back to the common room to hear what Harry had to say of his meeting with the Queen.


	21. Why Can't We Talk it Over?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's sad, Severus is worried, Hermione is helpful. Everybody talks.

"Where have you been?" Harry demanded when Severus arrived. 

"Pansy sent me out…"

"I didn't tell you to walk to Wiltshire and back!" she snapped, cutting him off. 

He gave her a dry look before continuing. "As I was saying, Pansy sent me out on a walk and I found a room filled with all manner of things. I think anything that anyone ever lost or wanted to hide is in there."

"Merlin!" Harry exclaimed. "That sounds wicked! Can you take me to it?"

"Of course," Severus smirked. "As if that isn't fascinating enough, though, the whole room reeks of dark magic. I couldn't find anything that would cause that, but I'm certain there's something there that shouldn't be."

Draco settled onto the couch and, draping an arm across Pansy's shoulders, he said, "That is really intriguing and I definitely want to see that room, but can we move on to Harry's meeting with the Headmaster? What did he have to say?"

"Oh, right!" Harry said, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Well, it's kind of strange to be honest. The Queen," he looked pointedly at Draco, emphasizing that he hadn't used the man's proper title. Severus snickered as Harry continued, "just wants me to learn all about the Dark Lord's life. I'm not really sure I understand why, but I'm just going with it. I expected something worse."

Severus hummed thoughtfully as he pondered this. Why on earth did Harry need to know about the Dark Lord's life? Perhaps Draco and Mr. Perfect really were right when they said the Queen was a bit barmy. "Well," he said finally, "I suppose it's always good to know your enemy. So what did you learn about the Dark Lord today?"

"Oh, today wasn't even directly about him," Harry replied. "It was about his mother. Her whole family was awful. They were all Parselmouths and spoke primarily in that language. And they were heirs of Salazar Slytherin but they were really poor, like their heritage was the only thing they had left to boast about." Harry shrugged. 

"Anyway, the girl, Merope, fell in love with a muggle in the town they lived in so she fed him a love potion and ran off with him. I guess she grew a conscience at some point, though, because a little while later he came back without her and she was left pregnant and alone. She sold her Slytherin heirloom locket - the same one Professor Black destroyed - for money and then had her baby in an orphanage and died. The baby's name was Tom Riddle and he grew up to be the Dark Lord. So Voldemort is really a half blood and he grew up in a muggle orphanage." Harry looked kind of lost as he finished the story. Severus reached out and touched his hand and Harry gave him a small smile before weaving their fingers together and gripping Severus' tightly. 

"You're nothing like him, Harry," Severus said softly, his dark eyes meeting Harry's unflinchingly. 

Harry sighed deeply. "The thing is, Sev, I'm quite a lot like him. We're both half blood orphans who grew up with no knowledge of the wizarding world. We're both Parselmouths. And hell, look how flashy he is! Maybe he's really Elton John. Maybe I'm just… I don't know… some honky cat. Better get back to the woods, yeah?" 

"Harry James Potter!" Severus said forcefully, "You know that Elton John is not evil for one thing. The Dark Lord is no Elton John. And besides that, you're going to be the one still standing, Harry. You are a true survivor. The Dark Lord is a wreck; he's a dead man walking. We're going to win this! And what's more, we're going to have the life we always dreamed of under that tree in Surrey." 

Severus brushed his knuckles over Harry's jawline and began speaking in a softer tone. "Don't even worry about the similarities, Harry. When it comes to it, I'm as like the Dark Lord as you are. What matters is what you do with what you have. And we're going to do great and wonderful things. Just like we've planned."

Harry dropped Severus' hand and leaned forward, burying his face against Severus' shoulder. "I don't know," he said, his voice muffled by Severus' robes. "I guess I'm just tired. I wish I could have a normal life for five minutes."

"Normal isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know," Pansy spoke up after a moment. "I know it's rough, darling, but everything you've been through has made you who you are. And we're pretty fond of who you are." 

Draco hummed his assent and then said, "You should definitely tell Hermione about this tomorrow." Then he muttered, "Wish she hadn't landed herself in bloody Gryffindor. We need a better way of communicating with her than empty classrooms after dinner."

"Sev, you have class with her. Can you tell her for me? I'm not sure I'll feel like telling it again," he said, leaning back from Severus and standing up. "I'm just going to bed now. I'll see you all in the morning."

Severus readily agreed to talk with Hermione and watched fondly as Harry walked to their dorm room. He soon found himself lost in thoughts, worrying about Harry and trying to determine a way that they could communicate more easily with Hermione. He thought of it as Pansy and Draco chatted quietly next to him and he thought of it as he readied himself for bed. By the time he closed his curtains for the night and lay in his bed in the darkened dorm, he thought he had a decent idea of how to talk more freely with Hermione, although he was still lost on what to do for Harry.

The next morning at breakfast he made eye contact with Hermione from across the Great Hall, silently asking her to walk to class with him. She finished her breakfast and began gathering her things as Severus reached over and squeezed Harry's leg gently beneath the table. "I'm going to talk with Hermione. I'll see you at lunch. Be good," he smirked.

Harry reached up and tugged a lock of Severus' dark hair fondly. "Ha ha," he rolled his green eyes. "You too, Mr. Prince." He stuck his tongue out and Severus had an instant to consider what other things that tongue might be able to do before he stood and gathered his own school bag. 

As he went to meet Hermione he thought "Merlin, we've got to make it through all of this. If we ever hope to have the life we want - the life Harry deserves - we have to make it through."

Hermione, as it happened, was very helpful with the idea of communication. 

"Oh, I know!" she exclaimed. "It's dreadful, really. I'm up there with Ronald Weasley and so many chattering girls and it's nearly impossible to study as much as i need to. I do wish I'd been put with you lot."

Severus chuckled. "Well, as it happens, your wild Gryffindor bravery is just as beneficial as our Slytherin nature, so it isn't much of a burden. We would like to be able to keep you informed of things though. I was thinking perhaps a protean charm?" he suggested.

"Oh that's brilliant! Really advanced magic though." She sounded more excited than daunted by the idea of performing advanced magic though. This was one of the many reasons to love Hermione Granger, Severus thought. She was always just as thrilled as he was to learn new things. 

They decided that charming some parchment would probably be the easiest thing. Then they could write back and forth to each other and their words would be untraceable as long as they wiped their parchment clean regularly. They agreed to do more research in the library during their free period to determine exactly how to make it work and then Severus began to tell her about Harry and the Queen. 

"And so," Severus finished after telling her about the Dark Lord's past, "Harry fears the connection he sees between himself and the Dark Lord. He sees the similarities between them and he's rather bothered by it."

"Oh, poor Harry," she breathed. "Of course that would bother him! And then he's got that connection with V-Voldemort in his mind and in his scar…" she trailed off. "I'm so sorry that it's like this for him. He doesn't deserve any of this."

"I couldn't agree more," Severus answered as they arrived at their classroom door. "I just wish I knew how to help him," he sighed.

She put a hand gently on his elbow. "Just be there for him, Severus. That's all any of us can do until this awful war is over."

He nodded, knowing that she was right but not loving it anyway. He vowed to do anything possible to move things along and finish this once and for all.


	22. No Stone Unturned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 
> 
> Something Dark is hiding and Severus is determined to find it.

"I've got it!" Professor Black told the Spice Girls as they filed into his office for an update in late November. 

Professor Black had been sitting in on some of Harry's meetings with the Queen in hopes that in getting to know more about the man Tom Riddle, he'd learn more about the horcruxes of the monster, Lord Voldemort. That had paid off as they learned of Riddle's obsession with artifacts pertaining to the Hogwarts founders. After a particularly sad tale of Tom Riddle stealing Helga Hufflepuff's cup, Professor Black had remembered his cousin, Narcissa Malfoy's sister, bragging of an artifact that the Dark Lord had entrusted her with. From there, it had been fairly simple for Narcissa, her sister’s next of kin, to go into Gringott's to check her sister's vault, seeing as the woman herself was locked securely in Azkaban. 

And so it was that Professor Black had Helga Hufflepuff's golden goblet, horcrux of the Dark Lord, sitting on his desk ready to be destroyed. "Harry, would you like to do the honors?" the Professor asked softly.

Harry agreed and stepped forward, grasping the cup gingerly as if it would burn him. When he touched it, though, Harry froze, his green eyes wide. "It knows," he said in a shocked voice. "It knows me and it knows I want to kill it."

Severus surged forward, wanting to help Harry and not really sure what to do. Placing his hand on the small of the other boy's back he just murmured encouraging nothings to him. After a beat, the rest of the group joined in, telling Harry not to worry, that he could do it, that with this they were one step closer to the end. When Harry's fingers finally released the cup into a cauldron of basilisk venom, the cup screamed as the group cheered.

Harry sank back against Severus' body when the deed was finally done. Severus wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. 

"You did it, Harry," he said softly, surprised to find his eyes brimming with tears of pride and love for this person, his person. 

Harry covered Severus' pale hands with his own honey-toned ones and sighed. "Yes," he said. "One more down and just a few more to go."

He didn't seem as excited about that as the rest of them and it only took Severus a beat to recognize why. "You're not going to die, Harry. I won't let you," his voice was soft but raw with emotion. 

Harry turned in his arms and looked into dark watery eyes. "I'm not afraid to die, Sev. If it has to be that way, then that's what I'll do. I just want it to mean something," he sighed. "I don't want to die just so someone else can be killed. I want the world to really be better because I was here."

The unspilled tears in Severus' eyes finally rolled down his pale cheeks. The two were entirely in a world of their own making, ignoring both their friends and the room around them. "Everything is better because you're here, Harry," he said, his voice thick. "Every fucking thing is better with you and don't you ever forget it."

Green eyes looked at him searchingly before Harry nodded and then slowly leaned forward, pressing his lips against Severus'. Severus' eyes snapped closed and his arms tightened around Harry. He kissed him back fiercely, turning his head so their noses weren't bumping together. He tried to pour everything he felt for Harry into that kiss, but he knew it couldn't come close. A single kiss was a merely a trickling stream compared to the vast ocean of Severus Prince's feelings for Harry James Potter. As far as first kisses went, Severus suspected that it was rather wet, but, in spite of the tears falling freely down his face, it was still perfect. It was perfect because it was him and it was Harry and together, they were perfect.

Of course it was Pansy who broke the intensity of the moment. "It's about freaking time!" she said loudly. Harry pulled back and chuckled softly while Severus buried his face against the side of Harry's neck, barely containing his own mirth. 

And then everyone in the room was laughing, all the tension of the war and the horcrux and Harry's role in it was broken, just for a moment. Just for a moment, they were a group of teenagers laughing with their favourite Professor during a free period. Just for a moment, they were normal. 

"You know, Sev," Harry spoke up between peals of laughter, "you're just lucky you already got with my friends."

Even that wasn't enough to dampen Severus' mood right then. He merely rolled his eyes and ran a hand affectionately through Harry's wild dark curls while telling him, "You're such a brat."

With the last known horcrux disposed of, Severus decided it was time to more thoroughly investigate the mysterious room he had found. 

Harry was still meeting semi-regularly with the Queen, although Severus really didn't see the point. So far, beyond learning more about the Dark Lord's family background and his proclivity for turning the Founders’ artifacts into horcruxes, he had also learned that the man had been sadistic and manipulative for literally his entire life, and not much more. How this would be helpful, Severus was unsure, but the Queen wanted it, so Harry went along with it.

While Harry was meeting with the Queen, Severus was going to the hidden room and sifting through item after item, trying to find something, anything, that might be of use. He had shoved aside more outdated brooms, joke shop trinkets, and pictures of naked witches than he could count, but still found nothing that would account for the dark magic feeling that lay heavy within the room. He became more and more obsessed with figuring out this puzzle despite having made no real progress and every time he went, he came back in a terrible mood.

“Sev, why don’t you let us help you?” Draco asked one evening when he had returned from another fruitless trip to the room.

Severus narrowed his eyes at Draco. “Why? You think you can do more than I can do?” he snapped.

“Stop being a prat, Severus Prince!” Pansy snapped back. “We want to help you. You’re exhausting yourself and it’s not doing anyone any good.”

He slumped down into a chair next to them. “I just want to help Harry. I just… I’m helpless here and I need to do something. He’s planning to walk up to the Dark Lord and let himself be killed. Remember how ready he was to run after Mr. Perfect at the Department of Mysteries without even checking with anyone first? He’s going to run headlong into this thing unless we can find a reason for him not to. I don’t know what to do,” he choked out.

“You let your friends help obviously,” Draco answered him, annoyingly calm. “You’re not wrong and we all know it. I honestly think the only reason he’s not a Gryffindor is because he wanted to stay with you too badly. But let us help too.”

“He’s right, darling. We all love our little Elton John. We’re not going to let the sun go down on him,” Pansy snickered at her own Harry-worthy bad joke. “Just let us help. The worst that can happen is that we share your frustration, but that’s what friends are for. I told you before… snakes take care of each other. I meant it then and I always will.”

“Obviously,” Draco chimed in. “And Hermione is an honorary snake so she should be included in that too.”

Severus nodded, knowing that they were right, but feeling anguished to the bone. All the fight went out of him as soon as they snapped at him and, while that was a good thing, his energy felt sapped. He’d be in no state to comfort Harry after another grueling drudge through the life and times of Tom Riddle. It took him a moment to even realise that Draco was still speaking.

“... so that’s why we asked Hermione,” he finished.

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“We asked Hermione to come with us to your secret room tomorrow. We’re bringing Harry along too and we’re going to figure out what’s going on. Whether it helps us in the fight or not, it’s likely not something that should be in the school, and figuring it out will set your mind at ease. Harry needs you. We’re going to solve this puzzle, like we’ve solved every other one that we’ve been presented with, and then you’re going to go back to being your usually spiky, surly self,” Draco smirked.

“Oh, ha bloody ha,” Severus drawled, ready to begin snapping again when Harry came through the door. Severus promptly dropped the sarcasm and came to his feet in an instant, drawing Harry to him and pulling him into the chair he had previously occupied. He set to rubbing Harry’s head through his thick hair, knowing that Harry’s head plagued him even at the best of times. “So what was it tonight?” he asked as gently as he could.

“Oi, don’t stop, that feels amazing,” Harry responded before continuing into a recounting of the memory the Queen had shared with him tonight. “I think this was the last one, thank Merlin,” he began and Severus all but sagged in relief. There were only so many of these dark memories that one person could stand. And Harry wasn’t even 17 yet. 

“Basically, the Dark Lord came to the Queen years ago and asked him for the DADA position. The Queen was already suspicious of him and refused and Tom somehow cursed the job so that no one could hold it for more than a year. That’s why we’ve had so many awful teachers, so fuck Tom very much for that alone,” Harry said sarcastically.

“But the thing is, the Queen thinks that he didn’t even really want the job, he wanted access to the school. The Queen thinks that maybe he hid something here or maybe he just wanted to kind of indoctrinate the students or recruit certain ones to his cause. I really don’t know,” Harry seemed confused but Draco’s eyes lit up.

“He thinks he might have hidden something here?” he asked. “Could it be something he placed in Sev’s hidden room? Maybe even a horcrux??”

Harry was baffled. “Maybe? That would fit…” he trailed off.

“Well, I guess we’ll find out tomorrow then, won't we, loves?” Pansy asked. “We’re all going there tomorrow, Hermione included, and we’re going to get to the bottom of this thing.”

Harry merely nodded. It was no use even trying to argue with Pansy when she used that tone of voice. “I think I’m going to bed now though. Those meetings always take it out of me.” Harry stood to go to the dorms and Severus followed him without question. 

The both readied themselves for bed and, without even speaking, Harry climbed into Severus’ bed with him, laying his head on Severus’ shoulder as Sev wrapped his arms around Harry. Neither of them spoke. There was no need, really. But it was a long time before either of them got any sleep that night. Sooner than later, all of this would be over. Who would be left in the aftermath was the only question, and it was one that plagued them both.


	23. A Calm Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another horcrux found and gone. A bit of calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks for this go to Wormtail still gracing us with her amazing ideas. Or something like that.

Immediately after dinner the next evening, Severus was already feeling antsy and nervous. “Can we just go already?” he demanded.

“Sure, Sev,” Harry squeezed his hand. “Let’s just get Hermione and get this thing over with.”

When Hermione was with them, she kept up a constant stream of questions the entire way to the seventh floor. It would have been irritating except that it helped Severus to focus, it kept his thoughts from running wild. He couldn’t be anything but grateful right then for her questioning nature. He paced in front of the room, thinking of the place to hide things, and all of his companions gasped when the door came into view. “I told you that’s what happened, I’m not sure why you’re surprised,” he said dryly.

He endured yet another gasp when they entered the room and saw the mounds of junk filling it. After their initial surprise had faded, they got to work, sorting through the stuff, laughing when they found something particularly embarrassing.

“I can see why someone wanted to hide this!” Harry exclaimed, holding up a photo of an overweight man with a walrus mustache covered by nothing but a strategically placed potions vial. 

“Oh, ack! Put that down! That’s my father’s old Head of House!” Draco groaned to the laughter of the rest of the Spice Girls. 

After a few hours of searching, though, it was looking less hopeful and more depressing. Everyone could recognize the oppressive feel of the air, but no one seemed to be able to pinpoint where it was coming from.

“Ooh, look at that thing!” Pansy called out from atop a table piled high with old books. When Severus looked up, he saw her climbing over things to make her way to an ugly bust with a bright tiara on it’s warty head.

Severus didn’t find it particularly interesting but Hermione gasped at the sight. “Don’t touch that Pansy!” she shouted and everyone stood up, suddenly alert.

“Why? Is it something important?” Pansy asked, still moving toward it.

“I… I can’t be sure,” Hermione said, “but… I think that’s Rowena Ravenclaw’s diadem.”

Pansy instantly drew her hand back from it, blue eyes wide. “Well, loves, I think I might have found it,” she said in a high pitched tone. “Um, Draco, darling… mind fetching Professor Black for me?” she batted her eyes at him.

Draco sighed with feigned aggrievement. “Of course. That’s my most important job. Runner. Everyone’s sneaking past a giant dog and it’s Draco who has to run and fetch the Queen. Severus kills a rat and Draco has to run and fetch help. Obviously, Pansy, I’m the ideal choice to run and fetch my cousin when you’ve found a bit of Dark Lord hiding out in our school.”

“Thanks, love,” she smirked. “I know you keep me around because I know how to play to your strengths.”

After Draco had left, Harry made his way to Severus’ side and slumped down. “You really think that’s it?” he asked softly.

“I am inclined to think so,” Severus said.

“So that’s the last one. We just have to get rid of the one in his familiar and the one in me , yeah?”

Severus nodded. There was really nothing else to say. He wanted to share some confidence that they’d be able to extract it from Harry, but he honestly wasn’t sure that they would, no matter how badly he wanted to. He had learned from an early age that the things you wanted most didn’t always happen. And all things considered, quite a lot had gone right in his life since he’d met Harry. He feared that their luck may be soon running out.

Severus just wrapped an arm around Harry’s shoulders and leaned against him as they waited for the professor.

“Hey, what’s this?” Harry asked, holding up a bundle of papers. Severus peered over his shoulder and saw the title, penned in a rather messy script, “Anal with Argus”.

“Merlin and Morgana, Harry, put that down!” he said, laughter shaking his shoulders and hurting his head after such a tense evening.

“No way! This is bound to be a prime top-notch piece of literature!” Harry laughed. “You think Filch wrote it himself or some student had a crush?”

“I’m honestly not sure which of those thoughts is more revolting,” Severus said, still unable to compose himself.

“I’m taking it with me,” Harry said happily, pocketing the horrid thing. “Might find out I like someone even more than I like you,” he tapped Severus’ nose and winked at him.

“Well, far be it from me to keep you from your true love,” Severus responded. 

And then the door opened and Draco came back in with Professor Black in tow. The atmosphere was a bit lighter than it had been before Filch was brought into things, but Professor Black still choked as he entered the room. 

“Morgan Le Fey, how have you all been standing in this room? It reeks of dark magic!” he exclaimed. 

“Well, Severus got very moody every time he came here, but we’ve just been pressing on. It seemed like something that needed doing, sir,” Hermione answered. Severus guessed he had his brother to thank for telling the only one who’d boldly speak up about his shortcomings. 

Professor Black hummed in response as he moved closer to where Pansy was. “That doesn’t surprise me at all. Don’t worry yourself over it, Mr. Prince. It would have happened to anyone who felt the need to spend hours at a time in a place such as this.” 

Sure, tell me not to worry, then point the finger, Severus thought and snorted. Harry laid a calming hand on his arm and he remembered that he’d been trying to help Harry. He could certainly face a bit of humiliation for doing something stupid if it could help Harry. He’d face much worse for him without question.

Professor Black confirmed that it was, in fact, Ravenclaw’s Diadem that Pansy had found. He levitated the whole thing, ugly bust and all, from its perch on the table, bringing it nearer so he could study it. Severus really wasn’t sure how he determined that an item was one of the Dark Lord’s horcruxes, but the man had studied them at length, so he trusted him to know.

After a few tense moments of waiting for the Professor’s verdict, he pulled a shrunken cauldron and a large vial from within his robes. Restoring the cauldron to its normal size, he proceeded to pour the contents inside and then said, “Severus, would you like to do this one?”

Severus looked at Harry, who was looking at the ground. He didn’t really want to leave his side. “I think I’d rather not, sir, if it’s alright with you,” he said cautiously. Professor Black studied him for a moment before nodding. 

“Let me at it!” Pansy called, finally hopping down from the table and making her way through the piles of junk. “Can I just pick it up and drop it in?” she asked when she got to where the thing stood.

“Absolutely,” Professor Black confirmed. “Just be cautious. It’s likely to cause a fuss, so ignore anything it says or does.”

She gave a brief nod and sucked at her teeth before she bent and picked up the tiara. It was honestly quite lovely and, being an artifact of one of the Founders, Severus was sure it was quite priceless. Just one more thing that the Dark Lord had perverted. Pansy hissed as she held it, then quickly dropped it into the cauldron. It shrieked just the same as the cup had done, so they knew to expect it, and then it was all over.

“You all should return to your dorms now,” Professor Black told them. “You’ve done excellent work, though. You can all be proud of yourselves for this. I’ll speak with Dumbledore and some others and we’ll determine what should happen next. If we have need of you, I’ll be sure to let you know. Otherwise, please leave this all alone. None of you should need to be involved in any of this,” he said sadly.

Severus was inclined to agree. They shouldn’t need to be involved. But they were anyway. He hoped that they weren’t kept too far out of the loop. If so, he had no compunctions about resorting to spying, but he’d rather it didn’t come to that.

Harry grabbed his hand and pulled him up and they all went back to their dorms, feeling a strange mix of pride and disillusionment. Harry was involved just by the very act of existing and that was in the forefront of all of their minds, but no one spoke of it.

Harry spent another quiet night in Severus’ bed that night, neither of them sleeping much, both just clinging to the other and feeling grateful for the warmth of a beloved body pressed against their own.

Despite the turmoil they’d all gone through in getting rid of the horcruxes, it became a kind of anti-climax. They’d gotten rid of the horcruxes, for the most part, and then… nothing.

They went to class, they went to meals. Harry played Elton John albums on his charmed record player and Pansy switched them to Ramones albums. Severus said nothing because he was as happy with one as with the other. When Harry procured a Spice Girls album from who-knows-where, Pansy stopped messing with his Elton John records and just left him to it, lest he play Wannabe for the millionth time.

Harry took to reading passages of Anal with Argus to Severus at night behind his bed curtains, both of them gasping and laughing at the utter ridiculousness of it. As revolting and hilarious as it was, Severus couldn’t deny that there was a rather large part of him that enjoyed listening to Harry whisper dirty words to him by wandlight. These readings often ended with Severus tossing the pages aside and pulling Harry to him, pressing kisses to his smiling mouth. These happy kisses often ended in passionate snogging sessions where both boys were left hungry and wanting more, but not quite ready to take it any further. It was an extremely satisfying way of remaining largely unsatisfied and Severus could not complain in the least about it.

Some nights they lay together in the Common Room, chatting and listening to music like they always had, only now Draco and Pansy joined in sometimes too, the latter often painting someone’s nails as they talked. Some nights they snuck Hermione into their Common Room, daring anyone to say a word about the Boy Who Lived bringing a friend from another House into the snake den. Some nights it was just Harry and Severus and they could talk more intimately.

“It seems odd, this waiting. Do you think?” Harry asked him late one Saturday night.

“I honestly don’t know, Harry. I’m just glad for a chance to pretend we’re normal for once in our lives,” he said, tracing a hand over Harry’s face. Touching cheeks, nose, eyebrows. Committing them to memory. The war was never far from any of their minds, try as they might to carry on as normal.

“You’re right, I know. We should be happy to get this. I just can’t shake the feeling that we’re living on borrowed time,” he said sadly. “I just wish I knew how things would go. If I could know that this is all I’m going to get, I reckon I’d try to relax a little more.”

“I think,” he said slowly, “that you should just do whatever comes naturally. There’s no need to force yourself to feel any certain way, you know. You just need to be you.”

Harry smiled. “I suppose I can handle that,” he said. 

“You can. You’ve never been anything but genuine, Harry. Take my word. I’m a mad man, don’t you know?”

He laughed at that. Severus loved his laugh. “Mad for me, you mean?”

Severus wrapped his arms around him and hugged him close. “Always,” he murmured as he buried his face in Harry’s hair.

That was the last peaceful moment they had before everything went to hell.


	24. I'm Better Than You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One final battle. Winner take all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, it does get a bit gruesome here.

Suddenly, a cold voice cut through the quiet of the school. “Harry Potter!” it called, magically reverberating through the walls. “Come to me and all of your friends will be safe! You have one hour.”

Severus sat bolt upright, staring at Harry with wide wild eyes. Harry just gazed back as if this was only confirming all that he’d been thinking for the past few weeks. He reached out and squeezed Severus hands before saying “It’s just the snake and me. Then him. That’s it. It’ll all be over soon, Sev.”

“Harry! You can’t! We’ll fight! We’ll find some other way,” Severus was frantic. He knew. He knew what Harry was planning and it was literal suicide!

Harry just leaned in and kissed his cheek softly before standing and pulling his robes and shoes on. “He came a little sooner than we expected, but we always knew it would come down to this, Sev. And besides,” he shrugged, “Saturday night’s alright for fighting. Get a little action in.” 

He motioned for Severus to follow him and he rushed to do so. Whatever happened, he didn’t want Harry to be alone for it. When he stood, he saw Draco and Blaise getting dressed across the room. He was certain that everyone throughout the castle was doing the same at the sound of the Dark Lord’s voice, some to fight him and, likely, some to fight for him.

The Common Room was chaos. Students of all ages and in all stages of dress frantically mingled, searching for their friends, deciding where they could hide, what would be safest for them. A few Slytherins were already conspicuously absent, Severus thought as he rushed to catch up with Harry, Draco and Pansy hot on his heels. 

Harry had already made his way into the halls by the time they finally found him. “Harry!” Severus called. “Wait for us! Whatever insane thing you’re doing, you can’t do it alone!”

Harry paused and turned back to his friends. “It’s okay, Sev. I know what I have to do. I finally made sense of all that the Queen was trying to tell me. I know what the ‘power he knows not’ is all about now.”

“Well, Merlin’s pants, Harry, tell us! Let us help!” Pansy barked at him.

Harry smiled mysteriously and Severus was beginning to think maybe he’d learned a little too much from the Queen. He almost expected his green eyes to twinkle next as he offered them a lemon drop. “It’s all of you. It’s that I love you. The Dark Lord doesn’t know love, only power. So I need you to find Hermione and I need you to fight, okay? No matter what happens, just protect each other and fight.” 

“Of course, we’ll do that, Harry. But. You will be alright, won’t you?” Draco asked. Severus almost broke when he heard his formerly cowardly brother promising to stand up, to fight, for Harry.

“I’ll be exactly where I need to be. That’s all,” Harry said. He stepped closer and ran his knuckles over Severus’ jawline. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Severus replied. It wasn’t how he wanted to be saying that, not in these circumstances, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was Harry’s way of saying goodbye. There was no other way he could possibly respond. Harry turned and walked quickly away and Severus thought about a boy in a tree above him, surprised by his own accidental magic. He thought of a boy with a fiery temper bursting into his room and promising to annoy him until he spoke to him. He thought of Elton John, still standing. He thought of a thousand odd moments that were all just Harry being Harry, and he resolved to, at the very least, be worthy of all that Harry had given to him. He may not be able to stop Harry from doing whatever crazy Harry Potter thing he was planning to do. But he could damn sure fight.

He, Draco, and Pansy headed toward Gryffindor tower, expecting, correctly, that they’d meet Hermione somewhere along the way. When they did find her, they relayed all that Harry had told them. She was clearly just as baffled as they were by his words, but resolved to fight alongside them no matter what. 

They made their way out to the castle grounds just in time to see Harry making his way, almost casually, across the grounds toward the Dark Lord, his wand gripped loosely in his hand. Teachers and Death Eaters were fighting all around them, but the Dark Lord had held back, perhaps to direct his followers, or perhaps too cowardly to go up against anyone more skilled than a teenage boy. Regardless, his red eyes glowed when he spotted the Boy Who Lived standing before him.

To Severus’ eyes, it all happened in slow motion. It was as if this one horrible moment would go on for all eternity. And yet, it happened all too quickly. The Dark Lord simply smiled a wicked smile, his snake familiar coiled by his feet lazily. He raised a bone white wand to Harry and Harry made no movement whatsoever. He just gave a little half shrug and said “Hello Tom.” The Dark Lord's smile turned to a sneer and he responded, quite rudely, “Avada Kedavra!”

Green light engulfed Harry and he fell to the ground so simply, his glasses slipping to the ground just before he did. He fell to the ground as if Severus’ entire world hadn’t just collapsed along with him. 

Severus heard Hermione’s shocked cry “He needs his glasses! He can’t see without his glasses!” And he heard Pansy scream. He’d never heard Pansy ruffled before, and she was far beyond that now. He saw Draco fall to his knees next to them, the reality of what was happening hitting him for perhaps the first time. Time stopped and Severus’ ears roared. Professor Black stared, aghast, and the Queen simply looked on sadly.

“Harry Potter,” that cold bastard’s voice called out gleefully, “is dead! Your final hope for winning is gone! You will all fall in line. You will all bow to Lord Voldemort now.”

This was all wrong. This isn’t how it was supposed to happen, Severus thought. First the snake. Then the one in Harry. Not Harry himself. The snake was still right there, this wasn’t part of the plan. He hadn’t even realised that he was moving forward or that Pansy, Draco, and Hermione were right behind him, trying to hold him still. He didn’t even know what he was going to do until he stood before the Dark Lord, pointed his wand at the snake, and called “Sectumsempra,” his voice anguished and cracking. 

Intent, he had always suspected, was the key with that spell. That became evident at the moment that the spell rocked the serpent into the air, neatly dividing her into a dozen or more pieces. The Dark Lord shrieked in rage and Severus couldn’t bring himself to care. Harry had said to fight so Severus had done all that he could. If he died for it now, so be it.

The Dark Lord turned to him, eyes filled with rage, and raised his wand before the most beautiful voice in the world called out, “Hey Tom! The bitch is back!”

The Dark Lord whirled around, seemingly confused about who he should kill now that Harry Potter was once again standing there challenging him. He apparently decided on giving a monologue instead and Severus couldn’t help thinking “what a grandstanding bloody idiot.”

“Harry Potter!” he shrieked. “I killed you myself and yet you still stand here before me. That is the last time I will fail. This time, I will merely make you suffer. You seem to value your friends much more than your own life. How do you feel about this?” He pointed his wand at Severus once again and called “Crucio.”

Electricity ran through Severus’ body. It was as if his skin was being split open again and again, as if ice and fire both filled his veins. No pain could compare to this. He was beyond thought as he writhed on the ground. Eventually, the pain eased and he heard Harry called to the Dark Lord to stop. “It’s me you want. Leave him alone, you bloody coward!”

“Ah yes, you,” Voldemort answered. “You, whose filthy mudblood mother died for him. Whose worthless, reckless father died for him. And whose friend, or is he a lover? Is about to die for him.”

“Don’t you even speak of my parents, you piece of shit. Leave my parents and Severus out of it and COME AT ME!” he shouted, brazen as only a teenager provoked into a fight can be. Severus, laying on the ground unable to move, was certain that he was going to have to watch Harry die for a second time that night. A second time that would likely be far more permanent. He honestly expected that at this point from his crazy reckless Elton John. Until he heard the Dark Lord gag.

Curious, he looked up to where the Dark Lord stood to see blood running from his ears and eyes. His pale lips were tinged red in a grotesque perversion of Pansy’s red lipstick. He looked back at Harry and saw that he wasn’t even holding his wand. He just stood there like a god of death, a mutinous look upon his golden face. 

All the people who had been fighting moments before were standing still, faces aghast, as the blood hemorrhaged down the Dark Lord’s face, as his black robes took on an even darker, wet-looking hue. Moments later, he had collapsed in a pool of his own blood and still a flood of crimson poured from his every orifice. 

Some time later, Aurors who had been called when the castle’s wards were first breached showed up and began arresting shocked Death Eaters who didn’t even protest. Professors began ushering errant students back to their dorm rooms or to the hospital wing, if need be. And Harry came to Severus. He sat in the grass and maneuvered Severus’ head into his lap, stroking his hair gently.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

“Harry,” Severus croaked. “I am a bit weak at the moment. That hurt like a bitch, you know. But then, you died, so I guess you win.”

Harry had the sheer audacity to laugh. “I didn’t die all the way. Mostly dead, I’d say. I recovered.”

Severus rolled his eyes, finding it rather hard to sneer as he lay on the ground with his head in the Savior of the Wizarding World’s lap. “Did you honestly just blow up the Dark Lord without even raising your wand?”

Harry shrugged. “He was talking a bunch of shit. And he threatened you. I didn’t really do anything. I just got really angry.”

Severus sighed. “Only you, Harry. Only you.”


	25. This Train Don't Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading and sticking with me and Severus through this! I loved writing it and I hope you've enjoyed it too!  
> -Prongs

That summer, the Spice Girls walked down the streets of muggle London, determined to teach Draco that not everything about muggles was awful. The music at the very least was acceptable. He couldn’t very well marry Pansy Parkinson with no appreciation for muggle music.

He and Pansy had settled into a very lovely sort of relationship. They trusted each other without question and respected one another's boundaries effortlessly and naturally. Severus was rather pleased with himself for facilitating it, although Pansy was quick to point out that he’d only done so because she made him. “You make me do most of the things I do, darling,” he told her. “That doesn’t make them all good ideas.”

Hermione, on the other hand, had decided to learn all that she could about wizarding culture. She spent a lot of time talking to Severus’ mother who had a keen grasp of all of it, while still having lived in the muggle world for 12 years. Hermione shared Severus’ convictions that the Dark Lord had been able to gain such a following because wizards felt that their culture was being threatened and they weren’t sure how to protect their way of life. She wanted to join the Ministry after Hogwarts and try to correct that problem. 

“It is important for muggleborns to learn these things!” she said passionately. “We have no knowledge at all of even being magical until we’re thrown into Hogwarts at age 11! It would be better for them to have some sort of exchange program before that so that we can all understand each other better.” Hermione was perhaps the most brilliant person that Severus had ever met and he was certain that she would succeed through both knowledge and sheer boldness. 

As for him, as for Harry, they were just looking forward to another year at Hogwarts. They were incredibly hopeful that this year would be the year they’d always dreamed of: a year of being normal teenagers, falling in love, bickering about music, experimenting with fashion. Of course, they’d been doing all of those things all along, but it would be really lovely to do so without the constant threat of death and destruction hanging over their heads.

The Queen himself had awarded Harry an Order of Merlin, first class, for his massive temper tantrum, as Severus had decided to call it. There had been a great ceremony and a great feast and it had been quite nice. Harry, however, claimed that the best part of his day had been when they’d gone back home, to Harry’s home with Sirius and Remus, where Severus was always welcomed despite his old fears. They lay there under their tree and Harry had snogged him senseless. It hadn’t been exactly like old times. It had been even better! Much more snogging. 

As they walked down the street, hands clasped together firmly, they passed a news stand. “Hey Harry,” Draco called. “Isn’t your man on this paper?”

The group all paused to look at a headline proclaiming the fact that the Queen herself had knighted Sir Elton John. Harry’s eyes lit up like never before!

“See, Sev!! I told you I was Elton John!” he cried gleefully.

“Merlin, help me,” Severus murmured. “He’s going to be impossible now,” but he smiled widely back at Harry anyway.

“Well, then,” he said to Harry. “If you’re flashy enough to be Elton John, which I still doubt, mind you, but if you are Elton, who am I?”

“Aw, Sev,” he answered fondly, wrapping an arm around Severus’ shoulder. “You’re my favourite!”

“Ah. Well, I supposed that’s acceptable then,” he said, chuckling. “Just don’t go breaking my heart, okay.”

Harry laughed, pressing a kiss to the side of Severus’ mouth. “I couldn’t if I tried.”


End file.
